Bad Romance of the Three Kingdoms
by Lolsnake9
Summary: It just seems to be your normal day in the DW world, until a mysterious white mist appeared throughout the region. Following this is that suddenly the male characters start to turn gay for each other! While the remaining straight characters are trying to find a solution, the females start to have suspicious activities. What is actually going on?
1. The Terror Begins

_**Bad Romance of the Three Kingdoms**_

* * *

 _It just seems to be your normal day in the DW world, until a mysterious white mist appeared throughout the region. Following this is that suddenly the male characters start to turn gay for each other! While the remaining straight characters are trying to find a solution, the females start to have suspicious activities. What is it that they're planning? Is the mysterious white mist connected to all of this? What is actually going on?_

* * *

 _Chapter 1: The Terror Begins_

* * *

 _Ah…what a peaceful, beautiful morning in our beloved insanity-filled land of Ancient China. First of all, let us focus onto a certain blue-colored complex, the biggest complex in the entire land, known as the kingdom of Wei._

* * *

 _At the outside…_

Cao Cao: Ah…what a beautiful morning! I'm sure nothing wrong can ever happen today! Now let's get some fresh ai- WHOA! Man…what, what the heck is this?! Where did this mist come from? Gah! It's so thick I can't see anything!

Guo Jia: Hm? My lord?

Cao Cao: Oh, Guo Jia. Here, this thick white mist blocks our eyesight. Where did it come from anyway? Hmpsh….

Guo Jia: Ah, it's alright. We can just relax inside all day until this mist disappears, then.

Cao Cao: Heh, I suppose you're right. (Hrngh…I feel sorta dizzy…ah, nevermind.)

 _Later..._

Xiahou Dun: So, bla bla bla….

Cao Cao: …. (Hrgh…what…what is this? I feel weird….)

Suddenly, Cao Cao sees Xiahou Dun in your typical shoujo-style bishie sparkles and stuff…

Cao Cao: …. (Oh…oh my…Dunnie is so…cool…)

Xiahou Dun: …uhhh, cousin, you alright? Hey, hey!

Cao Cao: ….oh, OH! Erm…what?

Xiahou Dun: You alright? You spaced out.

Cao Cao: Eh…uhm…eh, I don't know.

Xiahou Dun: Your face looks red too. Have you got a fever or something? **places his hand on Cao Cao's forehead**

Cao Cao: R-red?! Eh, uhm?! **blushes even more**

Xiahou Dun: Well, if you don't feel well you should take a rest.

Cao Cao: Y-yeah… (Dammit, what the hell was that?! Guh…maybe Dun's right. I definitely need a rest. Hrmgh…)

 _Elsewhere…_

Guo Jia: Oy, Jia Xu!

Jia Xu: Eh? Oh, it's you. What is it?

Guo Jia: Oh, nothing particular. It's just…ehm…

Jia Xu: …hmm?

Guo Jia: Umm…if you have any spare time…would you like to…you know…eh, uhm…

Jia Xu: …what? Go out drinking again like your usual drunken self? I'll pass. I have MUCH better things to do, being stuck here with the thick mist outside…

Guo Jia: Eh, no! It's just…well, maybe we can talk in private…you know…just the two of us.

Jia Xu: **raises eyebrow** …just between the two of us?

Guo Jia: Y-yes.

Jia Xu: ….

Guo Jia: ...um…

Jia Xu: …okay, let me think about it.

Guo Jia: O-okay! I'll be thankful if you comply! S-see you later! **runs away**

Jia Xu: …huh. Okay. (Well, now THAT was weird. Since when did he suddenly become so shy like this? Normally, if he wanted me alone with him then he would've pretty much dragged me all the way to his room. But now…tch, well it's Guo Jia, whaddaya expect…)

 _Later…_

Cao Cao: …oh! Dunnie, here you are!

Xiahou Dun: Oh? Uhh…okay? What is it?

Cao Cao: Oh, nothing…I just like to see you being alive and well.

Xiahou Dun: Oh, well. Thanks for your concern.

Cao Cao: Yeah….hrgh….umm…you know, you look lovely today.

Xiahou Dun: **widens eyes** ….what?

Cao Cao: Eh, uhm… (Shit! Did I, did I really just say that?!)

Xiahou Dun: What did you just say to me, cousin?

Cao Cao: Eh, uhrm, nothing, NOTHING!

Xiahou Dun: ….you know, you're REALLY beginning to concern me.

Cao Cao: Gah, erm…guh, what?! **hugs Xiahou Dun from behind**

Xiahou Dun: WAAAHHHH! CAO CAO, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!

Cao Cao: I, I DON'T KNOW! My body moved on its own!

Xiahou Dun: How the hell is that even possible?! Argh, let! Me! GO!

Cao Cao: I…CAN'T!

Xiahou Dun: What do you mean you can't- ….

 _ **"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH!" *SMACK!***_

Cao Cao: OUCH! THAT HURT!

Xiahou Dun: You….WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!

Cao Cao: Look, I don't know, I truly don't-

Xiahou Dun: You, YOU CLEARLY GROPED MY DICK! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!

Cao Cao: Dun, please, listen….I….I have no idea why I did this, I…

Xiahou Dun: ….cousin…we've…we've been fighting together for so long, and yet you never revealed that you have those kinds of feelings towards me!

Cao Cao: I DO NOT!

Xiahou Dun: THEN WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!

Cao Cao: ….I….

Xiahou Dun: …stay away from me.

Cao Cao: W-wha?!

Xiahou Dun: STAY AWAY FROM ME! **runs away**

Cao Cao: NOOO! DUNNIE COME BAAAACCCKKKK! …..oh my god, no…why…WHY?!

 _Later…_

Xiahou Dun: Huff, huff….ah, fuck…what…what's gotten into him?! Hrmf…no, if he's truly had those feelings towards me ever since our days together, hrmf….

 _ **"WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"**_

Xiahou Dun: What was- GLKH!

Jia Xu: WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

Guo Jia: Come on! Why are you running away?! COME TO MEEE!

Jia Xu: NOOOOOOOOOOO! STAY AWAY FROM MEEEEEEEEEE! WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!

Xiahou Dun: What the fuck?!

Jia Xu: GAAAAHHH! Please, PLEASE GET HIM AWAY FROM MEEEE!

Xiahou Dun: W-what?! What the hell is happening?!

Jia Xu: He tried to rape me!

Xiahou Dun: Rape?!

Guo Jia: Oh, come on now, 'rape' is such an ugly word, isn't it?

Jia Xu: THAT'S BECAUSE IT IS! STAY AWAY FROM ME!

Xiahou Dun: Eh, umm…oh, hey Guo Jia, I think our lord might have some problems right now, maybe you could help him out?

Guo Jia: Lord Cao Cao? Umm….okay! **walks away**

Jia Xu: Pant…pant…

Xiahou Dun: …so we have the same problem here, huh?

Jia Xu: What do you mean?

Xiahou Dun: Well…Cao Cao has actually been acting strange whenever he sees me, and, well…my fears came true when he groped my dick.

Jia Xu: What the fuck?! He did THAT to you?!

Xiahou Dun: I know. It's really disturbing…but the weird part is that he said that his body moved on its own!

Jia Xu: Holy shit…well, Guo Jia was also trying to do the same to me…

Xiahou Dun: Did he do it, you know, voluntarily?

Jia Xu: Seems so…what has caused this?

Xiahou Dun: I'm not so sure. Especially weird because both Cao Cao and Guo Jia are always looking for women…

Jia Xu: I know. It's worrying…are there anyone else here who's been affected by this?

Xiahou Dun: No. It seems to only be limited to those two…for now, at least.

Jia Xu: Okay. Well, from now on we have to be more careful around those two, while we try to find out what has caused all of this and try to fix it, you got it?

Xiahou Dun: But what the hell makes you think I would want to work with YOU?

Jia Xu: Because we're the only ones who know about this! Look, we can't let this leak out to the others, inside AND outside of this kingdom. We have to keep it and work in secret!

Xiahou Dun: Well, you got a point, but…

Jia Xu: Trust me. We have to work together.

Xiahou Dun: Huff…well, as much as I loathe your fucking guts I guess you're right.

Jia Xu: Good, good.

 _Meanwhile…_

Cao Cao: Huff…no…what was that? No, that can't be happening. First I got flustered everytime I see his face, and now I just sorta subconsciously attempt to have my way with him? No. I already have Pi. This is wrong. That didn't happen. That did not happen! I did not hit on Dun, I did not hit on Dun, I did nooott-

Guo Jia: Hm? Lord Cao Cao?

Cao Cao: Hm? Guo Jia?

Guo Jia: Are you okay? Master Xiahou Dun told me that you got a problem.

Cao Cao: Dun? Ermh….about that….I don't know. I've been acting weird lately, and I don't even know why…

Guo Jia: I see. Well, let's go out to have some fun, then. Maybe that'll cheer you up.

Cao Cao: Right, right.

* * *

 _Now, let us move on to the second-smallest complex, a green-colored one, named the kingdom of Shu._

* * *

Zhuge Liang: **looks out of a window** …whoa? What is this? A mist?

Liu Bei: Zhuge Liang! You're awake!

Zhuge Liang: Oh? Lord Liu Bei?

Liu Bei: You know, there's a really thick mist outside. I could barely see anything!

Zhuge Liang: Yeah…I know…

Liu Bei: Huff…it's a shame. Now we're stuck inside this palace until the mist subsides!

Zhuge Liang: Well, it sucks, but I'm sure we can find other things to do.

Liu Bei: You're right. And hey, besides…. **holds Zhuge Liang's hand**

Zhuge Liang: …hm?

Liu Bei: …if you're here with me, I'm always happy.

Zhuge Liang: …uhhh…my lord?

Liu Bei: What?

Zhuge Liang: …you look unusually…happy today.

Liu Bei: Oh, didn't I tell you?

Zhuge Liang: Uhhh….right…by the way I need some strategic work to do, so excuse me! **immediately runs**

Liu Bei: Hey, wait! Why must you be so serious?! Huff…he always takes his duties seriously, even when I tell him to loosen up….ah, that just makes him even more charming…

 _Later…_

Zhuge Liang: Shit…what, what was that?! Never once before did Lord Liu Bei act like THAT! It honestly creeps me out…oh?

Zhao Yun: Hm! Zhuge Liang!

Zhuge Liang: Zhao Yun…hey, you're always with Lord Liu Bei all the time, right?

Zhao Yun: Uhh…right?

Zhuge Liang: Here, can you keep an eye on him for me? And perhaps you should be more careful, too.

Zhao Yun: Uhh…why is that?

Zhuge Liang: Lord Liu Bei acted a bit strange earlier. I mean, he just held my hands while talking about how he's always happy everytime I'm by his side!

Zhao Yun: What the?! How is that possible?

Zhuge Liang: I'm not really sure…which is why I ask you to watch over him. And be careful lest he'll make those advances to you, too.

Zhao Yun: Got it.

 _Later…._

Jiang Wei: Prime Minister!

Zhuge Liang: Oh? Jiang Wei?

Jiang Wei: Prime Minister, where is Lord Zhao Yun?

Zhuge Liang: Zhao Yun? Uhhh…he's with Lord Liu Bei.

Jiang Wei: Oh, okay. Thank you!

Zhuge Liang: It's unusual that you ask about Zhao Yun.

Jiang Wei: Yeah, I know. There's something I want to show him.

Zhuge Liang: Oh, okay. Hmmm…I smell something fishy here…

 _Just a couple moments later…_

Ma Chao: GAH! Where did that brat go?! Ah, Zhuge Liang!

Zhuge Liang: Eh? What?

Ma Chao: You did see Jiang Wei going down that way, right?

Zhuge Liang: Uhh…yeah.

Ma Chao: Ah, great. Thank you. I'll catch that little rat for sure! Hyah!

Zhuge Liang: …okay, NOW this is becoming worrying….

 _Suddenly…._

 _ **"GWAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! LET GO OF MEEEEEEEEEEEEE! GAH! NOOOOOOOO!"**_

Zhuge Liang: Wha?! The hell….wait a minute, was that?!

Zhao Yun: **runs outside while bruised and shredded** GWAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

Zhuge Liang: Zhao Yun?!

Jiang Wei: Come on, Lord Zhao Yun! ACCEPT MY LOVE!

Ma Chao: YOU BASTARD! ZHAO YUN IS MINE!

Zhao Yun: GAH! NO! NO! STAY AWAY FROM ME!

Zhuge Liang: … **jawdrop**

Zhao Yun: ZHUGE LIANG! HELP ME!

Zhuge Liang: Eh?! Umm…oh, let's run that way!

 _Later…._

Zhuge Liang: Huff, huff….Zhao Yun! What happened?!

Zhao Yun: Argh…Jiang Wei…he just suddenly busted in and confessed to me!

Zhuge Liang: Confessed?!

Zhao Yun: Yeah! And then Ma Chao also broke in and the two basically fought over me, causing me to turn like this….

Zhuge Liang: Holy shit….

Zhao Yun: Huff, huff….what, what's happening? First was Lord Liu Bei like you said, and now…

Zhuge Liang: I don't know….I honestly don't know.

Zhao Yun: Eh?! The Sleeping Dragon doesn't know about SOMETHING for once?

Zhuge Liang: Weird, I know. Okay, listen, from now on we DEFINITELY have to be a LOT more careful with the people around here, while trying to solve the problem. You understand?

Zhao Yun: Yes, yes.

Zhuge Liang: Hrmf…this can't be…if it's REALLY true, then we're fucked.

 **To Be Continued….**

* * *

Yo, WHAT'S UP! Okay, first of all I have to deeply apologize and am very, very sorry that I wasn't able upload anything a week ago, because I ran out of ideas. But now I'm back with VENGEANCE! MWAHAHAHAHAHA- smacked by Sima Yi OUCH! Well...it's okay! Please leave a review and have a good day!


	2. The Mistery

_Chapter 2: The Mistery_

* * *

 _After that, we will now zoom onto a red-colored complex known as the kingdom of Wu._

Sun Ce: OKAY! The good way to begin a beautiful morning is to- Whoa, what is this?!

Sun Quan: Brother! Umm, there's a really thick mist outside.

Sun Ce: Ah, I know. Where did this suddenly come from, anyway? It's not even the rainy season yet.

Sun Quan: Yeah. It sucks that we're stuck in this place, too.

Sun Ce: Aww…but that's no good! I just wanna go out and have some fun…sigh…

Zhou Yu: Well, you really need to learn how to suppress that annoying hyper-activity of yours.

Sun Ce: Annoying?!

Sun Shangxiang: Hey, guys. What's up?

Sun Ce: Oh, Shangxiang. There's suddenly a really thick mist outside, so we can't go anywhere.

Sun Shangxiang: A-a mist?!

Sun Quan: Yeah…is there something wrong?

Sun Shangxiang: Oh, n-nothing! Hehe…

Sun Ce: By the way…I feel sorta dizzy…ngh…

Zhou Yu: Sun Ce?! You alright?

Sun Ce: Ngrh…I don't know…I might need some rest…

Sun Quan and Sun Shangxiang: **stares at each other**

Sun Quan: Hey…don't you think it's weird that this is the first time brother's ever got tired?

Sun Shangxiang: I know right…and he hasn't even done anything yet…

Sun Quan: Could it be the mist?

Sun Shangxiang: What mere mist could possibly do, anyway?

Sun Ce: By the way, Zhou Yu, I wanna ask something.

Zhou Yu: What?

Sun Ce: Could you please later go into my room to accompany me all day?

Zhou Yu: Eh? Um, sure, but I'm not sure about all day, though-

Sun Ce: Oh come on, Zhou Yu. After all, looking at your beautiful face is always able to heal me.

Zhou Yu: **widens eyes** ….what?

Sun Ce: I told you, your beautiful face is the only cure to my sickness.

Zhou Yu: What the…I think you got me mixed with Daqiao again, you need some rest-

Sun Ce: No, it's true! Daqiao's got nothing on you-

Daqiao: What did you just say, Lord Sun Ce?! **hell rises behind her**

Sun Ce and Zhou Yu: Wha, errr…..

Sun Ce: Eh, erm! Daqiao! I'm sorry, I'm sorry! This isn't like what you think! I, er-

Daqiao: Oh, is that true? I got nothing on Zhou Yu?! HUH?! **raises pugil sticks**

Sun Ce: GLK! NO! NO! THAT IS NOT TRUE! GAAAAAHHHH!

Daqiao: Hohoho…now, you can't escape~

Sun Ce: WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! ZHOU YU, SAVE MEEEE!

Zhou Yu: GLK! I, I, uhhh…..okay, know what Sun Ce, maybe it's better for you to spend more time with your wife….oookkkaaayyy?!

Sun Ce: WHAT! You're so mean! Argh! Daqiao, all of this is a misunderstanding, please lis- WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Zhou Yu: **quietly and rapidly leaves the R-rated brutal execution scene** Huff…huff…man, what the hell's wrong with him?! Calling me 'beautiful' and all shit….I mean, I know I'm beautiful, but when Sun Ce says that, it just sounds soo wrong so many levels…

Sun Jian: Hm? Hey Zhou Yu, what's up?

Zhou Yu: WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! Eh?! Ehm, I mean, Lord Sun Jian!

Sun Jian: You look pretty scared? Did something happen?

Zhou Yu: Err… **cue faint screams of Sun Ce** ….no! Nothing really! Haha….

Sun Jian: Ah, okay. Hrm….

Zhou Yu: What? Something wrong?

Sun Jian: No, it's just….today both Lu Xun and Ling Tong said that they feel unwell.

Zhou Yu: Ah?! Is that true?!

Sun Jian: Yes. Why? You seem shocked.

Zhou Yu: Ah…that's because Sun Ce said that he also felt unwell today…

Sun Jian: What?! Even Ce too?!

Zhou Yu: Yes. Ever since this mist came…

Sun Jian: Could this be some sort of a plague? Argh, this is worrying.

Zhou Yu: Yeah, I know.

Sun Jian: By the way, if Ce's really sick like what you said, I definitely need to check him out-

Zhou Yu: Oh, oh, there's no need to do so! Ehehe, erm….

Sun Jian: Huh? Why not?

Zhou Yu: Because…err… **hears Sun Ce's screams of pain** ….he's currently being taken care of by his wife! Yeah!

Sun Jian: Oh, I see! Well, ain't that nice! A wife dutifully taking care of her sick husband…

Zhou Yu: Errr…yeah…by the way, it's possible that this 'plague' is actually caused by this mist outside. We'd better not leave this palace before the mist subsides.

Sun Jian: Really? Hmm…I see. I'll leave the rest to you, then, Zhou Yu.

Zhou Yu: Eh?! Umm…okay….huff, fuck, if this is really true then Lu Xun and Ling Tong will be…ah, it's probably alright since they're the 'bottoms' anyway, if the 'uppers' are infected then THAT will be a real problem-

 _ **"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"**_

Zhou Yu: Huh?! WHAT?!

Gan Ning: Grkh…get…OFF ME! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!

Ling Tong: I…I don't know myself, asshole! My body's…moving on its own! ARGH!

Zhou Yu: ARGH! **drags Ling Tong away** YOU! What are you doing?!

Ling Tong: I…I don't know myself! My body's moving on itself, and I have these thoughts that I am not supposed to have! GAH! It's driving me crazy!

Zhou Yu: Hrm…know what, follow me. You…I thought Lord Sun Jian thought that you are sick.

Ling Tong: I was! But then, I just sorta have this wild thoughts about that spikey-haired bastard, and it's all…gah, I just don't know! Then I just suddenly want to touch him and…..argh, fuck it!

Zhou Yu: Shit…okay, tell you what, maybe you just need some rest. Just, stay away from Gan Ning for several days or so. Maybe that'll get your mind off him.

Ling Tong: Definitely. Eugh…the thought of even HAVING those thoughts gross me out. Excuse me.

Zhou Yu: Yeah. Hrmf…shit, this means that I gotta take care of Lu Xun now. Fuck, better carry a flamethrower too, in case something happens. Hrmf….

* * *

 _Now, lastly, we will move on to the second-smallest residence, the light clue-colored one, called the kingdom of Jin._

Sima Yi: Hoahm…

Zhang Chunhua: Morning, honey.

Sima Yi: Eh, to see your face again…

Zhang Chunhua: What's wrong with that?!

Sima Yi: Eh, nothing, nothing! Ermh….

Zhang Chunhua: By the way, there's a really thick mist outside.

Sima Yi: What? Mist? **looks outside window** Holy shit, you're right! It's not even rainy season yet, and I feel like we're covered in snow!

Zhang Chunhua: I know, right. Oh well, that'll mean well for our boys, anyway. Shi will have more time to study while Zhao will sleep all day-

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

Sima Yi and Zhang Chunhua: WHAT?! **runs outside**

Sima Yi: …..ZHAO?! WHAT HAPPENED?!

Wang Yuanji: My lord! Master Zhao, he, he….

Zhang Chunhua: Oh, my lovely baby! What happened to you?!

Sima Zhao: Ngrh….mom…?

Wang Yuanji: It seems like he inhaled too much of that mysterious mist, then he became dizzy and passed out…

Sima Yi: The mist, huh?! Gotta be careful of that, then…Zhao, ZHAO! HEY! WAKE UP!

Sima Zhao: Ngrh….dad….I….

Zhang Chunhua: Tell me, are you okay?!

Sima Zhao: Ngh….actually….only one thing…could cure me now….

Everyone: What is it?

Sima Zhao: I want…Jia Chong…to take care of me….in my room….

Everyone: **stares at each other**

Sima Yi: ….is he serious about this?

Zhang Chunhua: Jia Chong? Out of all people to choose, Zhao chose HIM to take care of him?

Wang Yuanji: Master Zhao is an exception to Jia Chong's…err….'routine', so he doesn't really worry.

Sima Yi: Fine then.

 _Later, in Sima Zhao's room…._

Sima Zhao: Ergh….

Jia Chong: ….my lord?

Sima Zhao: …ah, you came at last.

Jia Chong: I was told by your father that you're sick, and that you want me to accompany you.

Sima Zhao: Yeah, I did.

Jia Chong: ….

Sima Zhao: …..

Jia Chong: ….you know, it's weird for you to call ME instead of Wang Yuanji to take care of you when you're sick.

Sima Zhao: Oh, right. That's because…erm….

Jia Chong: ….?

Sima Zhao: There's actually something I've been wanting to say to you…

Jia Chong: …what?

Sima Zhao: Erm…you know what, you actually look really pretty with that snow-white skin. Such beautiful contrast with that night-dark hair of yours. I wish I could look at you everyday and not let my eyes off of you.

Jia Chong: …

Sima Zhao: ….um….

Jia Chong: ….my lord?

Sima Zhao: Y-yes?

Jia Chong: ….what the hell are you even on right now?

Sima Zhao: Ah? What do you mean?

Jia Chong: Like, good lord, looks like that mist managed to cover up some part of your brain, huh.

Sima Zhao: W-whaaattt?! How could you say such mean things towards me?! Tsk…you don't understand, Jia Chong. These feelings I have for you are genuine!

Jia Chong: Whatever those feelings are, no, I don't want it.

Sima Zhao: B-but-

Jia Chong: Sorry, but I'm outta here before you utter some utter poetic nonsense shit again, and don't call me again before your brain clears up!

Sima Zhao: B-BUT-

Jia Chong: Huff…. **shudder** shit….I BARELY even kept my cool back there. Fuck….what the hell was he thinking?! This is bad.

Sima Yi: Oh? There you are. Why haven't you-

Jia Chong: My lord, I have bad news. REAL BAD.

Sima Yi: Eh, w-what? Seems urgent.

Jia Chong: It's about your son, sir. YOUR SON. He, he….

Sima Yi: W-what's with him?

Jia Chong: He, he….gulp. He FLIRTED with me.

Sima Yi: ….. **widens eyes**

Jia Chong: Sir, it seems like we have to be really, REALLY ware of that mist.

Sima Yi: The mist?

Jia Chong: Yes! I don't know, but it seems like it had an effect on Lord Sima Zhao's brain that turned him gay.

Sima Yi: Gay?! Gah, this can't be! He already had that pretty blond pair of titties, so why did he turn to a psychotic vampire like you?!

Jia Chong: Psychotic vampire?! Erm, anyway, I told you, it must've been the mist. Listen, we have to quarantine your son while we look for a solution, and make sure that no one, NO ONE gets out of this palace until the mist subsides, you get it?!

Sima Yi: Of course, of course I get it. Sheesh, I've already known that my son often has 'interesting' interactions with you, but I never expected them to be real! Hrmf…

* * *

 _After all of that, we will know look on the other minor complexes, which are collectively known as Other. We will focus specifically on the particularly black-and-purple colored one (mostly because it's the only part of this complex that's relevant anyway, but eh)._

Lu Bu: Hm?! What's with all of this thick mist right here?!

Chen Gong: Oh, Lord Lu Bu. Ehm, I'm sorry, but this mist has indeed appeared suddenly covering the whole country.

Lu Bu: What! This is outrageous! I had a plan to go out with Red Hare today, and yet, huff…

Chen Gong: Well, we'll simply have to wait until the mist subsides, then.

Lu Bu: But until when?! I hate waiting!

Diaochan: Then you can simply have fun together with me, my lord.

Lu Bu: Oh, it's you.

Lu Lingqi: Yeah. I mean, you go out so much you barely spend any time with us.

Lu Bu: You're right. Alright then.

Chen Gong: Ehm…hey, maybe I could join in too?

Lu Bu: Who the hell invited you to the family?

Chen Gong: …

Lu Bu: Piss off while I'm having a little family fun-time, please.

Chen Gong: I….. **cries in a corner**

Diaochan and Lu Lingqi: **sweatdrop**

 _Yeah….nothing out of ordinary. But I promise more craziness will ensue. Oh yeah._

 _ **To Be Continued….**_

* * *

Yeah, I know that I'm getting kinda lazy with these updates. I have been busied with end-term exams and stuff, which is why I don't actively update as I did before. I hope you understand. Nevertheless, please leave a review and have a good day!


	3. The Drama

_Chapter 3: The Drama_

* * *

 _Wei_

Xiahou Dun: Okay, so professor genius, what's your plan?

Jia Xu: Here. Since both Lord Cao Cao and Guo Jia's gay, we just need to leave the two together, and wait until they become lovers themselves!

Xiahou Dun: Huh? You think that's possible? I mean, Cao Cao's in love with me and Guo Jia's in love with you, I don't think they would give up that easily.

Jia Xu: What?! Come on, you know that Lord Cao Cao and Guo Jia were practically in love with each other before I came, you must be blind to not see- oh, that's right.

Xiahou Dun: The fuck did you just say, huh?!

Jia Xu: Whoa, whoa, chill! No need to get all firey over it, you know! (Besides I was just saying the truth…)

Xiahou Dun: Hmph. So?

Jia Xu: Okay, the thing is, since they were already pretty close AND now are gay, if we leave them alone long enough, they will automatically turn into lovers! Of course, all we have to do is just to stay away from them for a while so they won't chase us around again, you get what I'm sayin'?

Xiahou Dun: Huh…good idea. But still…

Jia Xu: What?

Xiahou Dun: Okay, even if that plan of yours somehow works, the problem is we still don't know what suddenly caused all of this and how to cure it!

Jia Xu: Hmmm….wait a minute.

Xiahou Dun: What?

Jia Xu: The mist.

Xiahou Dun: The mist?

Jia Xu: Yes. I mean, the sudden appearance of the mist is already mysterious enough, and considering that Lord Cao Cao and Guo Jia went outside and inhaled some of it, maybe that was what caused the gayness?

Xiahou Dun: Mist that turns people gay…sounds weird and terrifying.

Jia Xu: Yeah. One more reason why we can't go out.

Xiahou Dun: Since the mist covers the entire region, does this mean that the other kingdoms are affected by this too?

Jia Xu: Seems so, since usually every time something like this happens it spreads onto the entire region. Also…Zhang He.

Xiahou Dun: Holy shit….right!

Jia Xu: When it comes to gayness, there's really no one else to blame but him.

Xiahou Dun: This means we have to interrogate him?

Jia Xu: Definitely. We can't let his 'beauty' to infect this entire kingdom…

 _On the outside…_

Xiahou Dun: You have any idea where Zhang He might be?

Jia Xu: He usually practices his dancing outside, but since there's a thick mist outside, he might be-

Cao Cao: …..and that's how my love ended. Waaaahhh….

Guo Jia: Ooh….aww, it's alright. I mean, I've received that so many times in my life before-

Xiahou Dun and Jia Xu: GLK! Shit! They're here!

Cao Cao: Hmmm….ah?!

Xiahou Dun: Fuck!

Cao Cao: Dunny? Is that you?

Jia Xu: Act normal, act normal!

Xiahou Dun: How the hell can I even act normal when he's very much in love with me like that?!

Jia Xu: Huh, I thought that the experience you have with all those rabid fangirls would help you-

Xiahou Dun: Because he's my male cousin, idiot!

Guo Jia: Oy, Jia Xu! There you are!

Jia Xu: Glk! Okay, watch how I act normal around him. Ehem. What?

Guo Jia: Come now, why did you run away when I tried to express my love for you?

Jia Xu: Oh. That. Well…

Guo Jia: ….?

Jia Xu: ….because you were so sudden, okay. Well, I know that you never hold back when doing those things, but you have to restrain yourself sometimes.

Guo Jia: Oh. I see. But still, you like me, don't you?

Jia Xu: …..

Guo Jia: ….

Jia Xu: ….NO.

Guo Jia: …. **widens eyes**

Jia Xu: Okay, you see what I just did there? That's how.

Xiahou Dun: Bloody hell…you made him cry!

Guo Jia: **cries loudly while running off**

Cao Cao: HEY!

Jia Xu: Exactly. That's the way to snap him out of his gayness. Like come on, he already has many pair of boobies surrounding him everywhere he goes anyway, so why must he go for someone like me? I just made him see the truth. That's all.

Xiahou Dun: Dude, you don't understand my point here. Do you think this would work for Cao Cao?! Like come on, you know he won't stop in achieving his ambitions!

Jia Xu: Ah yes…that's one issue, but maybe we could at least suppress it? Like, if you reject him, he will surely to at least not openly make an advance on you, right?

Xiahou Dun: I suppose….

Jia Xu: Look, just trust me, okay. I've been in this case for many, MANY times.

Xiahou Dun: Do you seriously think I COULD even trust you?!

Jia Xu: You're always like this, aren't you? You know what, I suppose that's fine, if you want to continue being groped by Lord Cao-

Xiahou Dun: Okay, okay! Fine! I'll do it!

Jia Xu: Gee, that was fast. Oh well.

Cao Cao: Ummm…Dunny?

Xiahou Dun: WAAAAHHHH! Oh, um, I mean….Cao Cao! Yeah….what can I do to you?

Cao Cao: Umm…you know what, I just want to say I'm sorry for what I did to you. I wasn't being myself…I hope you understand that.

Xiahou Dun: Oh, err….well, it's alright! Really! Hehe…

Cao Cao: Really? Well, thanks a lot. Now, why don't we go do something together?

Xiahou Dun: Glkh! Eh, emm….

Jia Xu: **makes a gesture**

Xiahou Dun: Err….I'm sorry, but I need to take care of something.

Cao Cao: Really? Okay then….

Xiahou Dun: Yeah….okay, I guess I need to tell you something here.

Jia Xu: What?

Xiahou Dun: Though I'm pretty sure you've already noticed it, don't you find it weird that Cao Cao and Guo Jia are?

Jia Xu: Ah, I know. As with Lord Cao Cao, it seems that he is aware that his gay urges are really the ones controlling his body to do….'that' to you. With Guo Jia, he's 100% gay.

Xiahou Dun: So does this mean that curing Cao Cao will be easier than Guo Jia?

Jia Xu: Perhaps. We haven't tried anything yet, so we'll just see.

Xiahou Dun: But what caused this different symptoms, I wonder?

Jia Xu: By the way, we were about to interrogate Zhang He about this, right?

Xiahou Dun: Oh! That's right. Let's go.

* * *

 _Shu_

Zhao Yun: Zhuge Liang, what's happening here?

Zhuge Liang: I'm not really sure…perhaps it's because of the mist outside.

Zhao Yun: The mist?

Zhuge Liang: Yeah. After all, it's quite mysterious that it suddenly appeared when it's not even raining season yet? There gotta be something fishy about it.

Zhao Yun: Gee, what kind of mist is that? Turning people gay when inhaled…

Zhuge Liang: I'm not quite sure myself. Well, hear me out. I will later try to talk to Jiang Wei about why he's suddenly attracted to you, while you and I have to make sure to stay away from Lord Liu Bei, Ma Chao, and Jiang Wei until we found a solution! Geddit?!

Zhao Yun: Staying away from Lord Liu Bei?! Why?!

Zhuge Liang: One, to prevent him from making advances on you. Two, who knows if this gay plague is contagious! Or maybe you're infected already?!

Zhao Yun: Glk! NO! I'm not gay! It's just that…who will protect Lord Liu Bei if me, his bodyguard isn't there?!

Zhuge Liang: Tch, his two sworn brothers are enough already. You just have to listen to my instructions, and it'll all be alright! Got it?!

Zhao Yun: Erm, yes, yes!

 _Later…_

Zhuge Liang: Oy, Jiang Wei.

Jiang Wei: Ah? Prime Minister?

Zhuge Liang: Let me talk about something. Why do you want Zhao Yun?

Jiang Wei: Eh? Um…well, because…because he's just so cool, you see! He's so handsome especially when riding a horse, and the way he fights is just so… **gets sparkly-eyed**

Zhuge Liang: **sweatdrop** Uhh….okay….(isn't that pretty much what every Zhao Yun fangirl says about him? Shit…)

Jiang Wei: …and because of that, I will never, EVER stop until I gain his heart, Prime Minister! And as a disciple of the Sleeping Dragon, I can achieve this!

Zhuge Liang: Uhh…okay Jiang Wei, I admire your dedication, but…

Jiang Wei: But what?

Zhuge Liang: Don't you…don't you ever realize that both you and Zhao Yun are dudes?! I mean, seriously!

Jiang Wei: But, Prime Minister! True love knows no gender boundaries!

Zhuge Liang: That's…not what I meant…gah…seriously, there are plenty of pretty girls around you that you could get instead of Zhao Yun!

Jiang Wei: But, only Guan Yinping is single! And knowing her father…

Zhuge Liang: Oh, right….but that doesn't give you a right for liking a guy!

Jiang Wei: Then explain what Lord Liu Bei did to you!

Zhuge Liang: Eh?! Erm, that was….I mean, it was Lord Liu Bei! Not me!

Jiang Wei: Well, if our lord is can do it, then why can't I?!

Zhuge Liang: (Shit…there's basically no use lecturing this kid….hrmf….)

 _Later…._

Zhuge Liang: Sigh….

Yueying: My husband? Is there something wrong?

Zhuge Liang: Yeah. You see, suddenly our lord, Jiang Wei, and Ma Chao all turned gay and are now chasing after me and Zhao Yun.

Yueying: GASP! Eh, urm….

Zhuge Liang: Surprising, I know.

Yueying: Uh, um, well in that case, uhh…

Zhuge Liang: What? Something wrong?

Yueying: Eh, nope! Nothing!

Zhuge Liang: Ah, good. I might need your help in solving this.

Yueying: Oh….okay.

Zhuge Liang: Yeah, and…. **stares at Yueying**

Yueying: Umm….what? Is there…something on me?

Zhuge Liang: Ah, good. You still look beautiful.

Yueying: What do you mean? I've always been, right?

Zhuge Liang: Yeah, well, just a reminder to see whether I'm still straight or not. Considering that you're normally ugly anyway-

Yueying: Who you're callin' ugly?!

Zhuge Liang: Ah, GLK! I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean to- WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

* * *

 _Wu_

Zhou Yu: LU XUN! Where are you?! Hrngh, Lu Meng!

Lu Meng: Ng? Master Zhou Yu?

Zhou Yu: Have you seen Lu Xun?!

Lu Meng: Whoa, whoa, what's wrong? You look all panicked. And…what's with that fire extinguisher?

Zhou Yu: Well, you know. But this is more urgent!

Lu Meng: Calm down! Well, since today Lu Xun said that he's unwell, I told him that he should take some rest, so he's now in his bedroom. Is there something wrong?

Zhou Yu: ….oh. I…see, then. Well, in that case, I just have to tell you about the two kids you have to take care of.

Lu Meng: Who? You mean Gan Ning and Ling Tong? Nah, don't worry, I always keep them under control-

Zhou Yu: No, this is different! By any chance should the two ever meet….

Lu Meng: …huh?

Zhou Yu: …basically, just keep an eye on Ling Tong. EXTRA eye on Ling Tong.

Lu Meng: Oh…well, since he is usually the one who starts fights I suppose I should.

Zhou Yu: Yeah, yeah. Great. I believe in you. **pats Lu Meng then runs away**

Lu Meng: ….Master Zhou Yu is acting….odd, today. Oh well.

 _Later…._

Zhou Yu: Huff…Lu Meng said that Lu Xun is currently resting in his bedroom but for some reason that just makes me even more anxious! He's in a BEDROOM! Shit…

"Wait, what are you doing?! ARGH! STOP IT! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Zhou Yu: WHAT?! **grabs fire extinguisher and runs towards the source** Wait, why am I carrying this? WHA?!

It turns out that Lu Xun is trying to burn Zhu Ran alive.

Zhu Ran: Stop! STOP IT! ARE YOU MAD?!

Lu Xun: But Ran! I thought you love this!

Zhu Ran: But only for burning our enemies! NOT ON MYSELF, IDIOT!

Lu Xun: Aw, come on! This is my burning LOVE for you!

Zhou Yu: Oh, fuck- **extinguishes the flame**

 _Later…._

Zhou Yu: Huff….how many times I have to tell you two?!

Zhu Ran: But sir, it was he-

Zhou Yu: I KNOW! So…Lu Xun! Explain your behavior!

Lu Xun: Because…because…well, I just thought that because he likes fire, I thought of making him happy lighting him on fire, but…. **cries**

Zhou Yu: The hell…huff…and you've mentioned about 'burning love' or some shit like that?

Lu Xun: Y-yes….

Zhu Ran: Ah…hey, don't cry! I mean, I didn't know that you intend to make me happy!

Lu Xun: Tsk…I'm sorry…Zhu Ran…

Zhu Ran: Lu Xun….

Zhou Yu: (Good fucking lord, just kill me now…it's bad enough that I have to deal with this gay plague, but having to WATCH it in action just makes it a million times worse.) Okay, that's enough gay moments, you two. Lu Xun, follow me. **grabs Lu Xun's hand**

Lu Xun: E-eh?! Where are you carrying me to?!

Zhou Yu: To get you some help. **throws Lu Xun in a mysterious room**

Lu Xun: W-wait! Master Zhou Yu! AAAAHHH!

Zhou Yu: Huff….good lord, I hope nobody gets the wrong idea seeing me locking Lu Xun up in this room. Now I probably have to check on Sun Ce….

 _ **To Be Continued…**_

* * *

I'm finally back again! Man, since when did I turn into such a lazy piece of shit when it comes to updating this…oh well. Please leave a review and have a good day!


	4. The Visit

_Chapter 4: The Visit_

* * *

 _Jin_

Jia Chong: So, what can we do?

Sima Yi: Right, first of all we have to tell his wife to accompany him. Maybe those pair of boobies will be able to snap him back into reality. And…Shi?

Sima Shi: Eh?

Sima Yi: You….are still normal, right?

Sima Shi: Err….yeah?

Sima Yi: Ah, good, good. Remember…stay away from your brother for a while, okay, while we're looking for a solution. Especially since your wife isn't here yet…

Sima Shi: Okay, got it.

 _Later…_

Wang Yuanji: You called for me?

Sima Yi: Yes. Uhm, here…you must help Zhao.

Wang Yuanji: Help him?

Sima Yi: Yeah. You may not believe me, but he's now turned gay and attempted to hit on Jia Chong.

Wang Yuanji: Erh? Eh, uhh….

Sima Yi: Weird, I know. Listen, maybe this is due to two of you hardly ever spending time together.

Wang Yuanji: To be honest that's because he's always lazy all the time…

Sima Yi: And you just let him be?! Argh, listen. You're vital to his recovery. Yu understand?!

Wang Yuanji: Sigh…yes.

 _Later…_

Sima Yi: Huff…I hope she's doing her job well...oh? Deng Ai?

Deng Ai: Ah! Lord Sima Yi. Sorry for bumping onto you.  
Sima Yi: Oh, it's alright. What's wrong? You seem to be in a hurry.

Deng Ai: Well…that's because…uhh… **whispers** HE'S AT IT AGAIN.

Sima Yi: "He"? Who do you mean-

"HEYYYYYYY! WHO ARE YOU RUNNING FROM, TOUGH GUY?!"

Deng Ai: Sigh…

Zhong Hui: HEY! You know that whenever I tell you to stay, you WILL stay!

Sima Yi: **sweatdrop**

Deng Ai: Told you.

Sima Yi: But it's alright, right? I mean-

Deng Ai: No it's not! Listen, I need to get away from him NOW, before he does anything towards me!

Sima Yi: Ehh? Umm…

Zhong Hui: Oy! What are you two babbling about?! Deng Ai, I told you to stay here with me!

Sima Yi: Errr….okay, Zhong Hui, just what are you doing now-

Zhong Hui: Hm?! Well, I'm trying to get Deng Ai to acknowledge me as his master!

Sima Yi: What the hell?! What do you mean by that?!

Zhong Hui: Well ain't that obvious! I mean, I'm smarter than him AND more attractive than him! I'm superior to him in every single way! But he won't acknowledge it! That makes me mad! Hmph!

Sima Yi: Sigh…you always do this, do you?

Zhong Hui: Well…it's quite different now, because…ehm…

Sima Yi: (God…don't tell me this is what I think it is…)

Zhong Hui: I actually…I actually like him.

Sima Yi: THE FUCK?!

Zhong Hui: Yikes!

Sima Yi: (Oh lord…so it's true…)

Zhong Hui: Which is why I'm extra angry that he doesn't notice my feelings! How dare he?!

Sima Yi: Ermm…I, uh….

Zhong Hui: So! I will do EVERY SINGLE THING I could do to gain his attention! You understand, Lord Sima Yi?!

Sima Yi: Erm…okay, I understand your intention, but….

Zhong Hui: But what?! I am the Chosen One! I could do everything I want!

Sima Yi: No, no, that's not- Sigh…look, but why would you want someone like Deng Ai, anyway? Couldn't you just-

Zhong Hui: Because I WANT him, dammit! Enough!

Sima Yi: Yeow! Shit, first Zhao, and now Zhong Hui to turn gay isn't really a surprise, but damn! If this goes on…

* * *

 _Wei_

Zhang He: Tralalalala, tralalalala~

Xiahou Dun: That's him!

Jia Xu: Ah, he's in his usual 'routine' again, eh…

?: Hey, what are you two doing? **taps Xiahou Dun shoulders**

Xiahou Dun: **jumps backwards in reflex** WAAAAHHHHH! STAY AWAY FROM-

Zhang Liao: Whoa, what's wrong? I was just-

Xiahou Dun: ….oh. It's you.

Jia Xu: You'd better understand. He has just been recently traumatized by….'something'.

Zhang Liao: Huh. So, what're you doing? You're seemingly peeping on Zhang He. What, you want to learn his 'beautiful dances'?

Xiahou Dun: Err….

Jia Xu: ….yes! Yes!

Xiahou Dun: Wha-?! **whispers** YOU IDIOT! Why did you tell him that?!

Jia Xu: Well, we really just can't outright tell him we intend to interrogate Zhang He, right? Remember, we must keep Lord Cao Cao and Guo Jia's case a secret!

Xiahou Dun: Yes, but-

Zhang Liao: Oh….gee, never knew you two are into that sort of thing, now.

Jia Xu: Yeah, yeah…I mean hey, after all, we need some new activities while being trapped in this thick mist...

Xiahou Dun: Yeah…sigh…

Zhang Liao: I see. Oh, and…

Jia Xu: Hm?

Zhang Liao: …you two are looking rather good today.

Xiahou Dun and Jia Xu: **widens eyes and look at each other**

Xiahou Dun: **whispers** WHAT NOW?!

Jia Xu: Well, it's fix. He's gotten infected too.

Xiahou Dun: Then what should we do?!

Jia Xu: Act normal, act normal!

Xiahou Dun: HOW?!

Jia Xu: Watch and learn. Ahem, my, thank you for your praise, Zhang Liao.

Zhang Liao: Y-yeah. Especially you, Xiahou Dun.

Xiahou Dun: GLK!

Jia Xu: Okay, okay, thank you very much. Now, if you excuse us.

Xiahou Dun: I'm….dead….

Jia Xu: No, you're not. When the entire regions falls in love with you…THAT'S when.

 _Later…_

Zhang He: Traalalalalaaaaaaa~

Xiahou Dun: Okay, now what?

Jia Xu: Follow my signal. **sneaks up behind Zhang He** NOW!

Xiahou Dun: **leaps onto Zhang He**

Zhang He: ~lalalalaaaaa- WHAAAA?!

.

.

.

.

.

Zhang He: Urgh…AAAHH! Where…where am I?! Am I kidnapped?!

Xiahou Dun: Not quite.

Zhang H: AAAAHHH! Xiahou Dun?! And…Jia Xu too?! What, what's happening?!

Jia Xu: Don't play dumb. Look, explain everything or else we will use the hard way.

Zhang He: E-explain what?! NO! What have I done wrong?!

Xiahou Dun: Look, you are ALWAYS up to something weird. So, explain Cao Cao and Guo Jia?!

Zhang He: Eeehh?! What, what's wrong with them?

Jia Xu: Look, they turned gay, okay. And who else but YOU can we blame whenever something gay happens, huh?!

Zhang He: G-gay?! Uhm, I-I don't know! Erh….I…I thought Lord Cao Cao has always been gay? **gets slapped by Xiahou Dun** AAH!

Xiahou Dun: Grrr…would you PLEASE not bring that up again?!

Jia Xu: Calm down, calm down. Now, what we're asking is simple: what did you do to them?!

Zhang He: I didn't do anything! I didn't even know about this until you told me!

Xiahou Dun: Sigh…this is difficult…

Jia Xu: Well, but you see, Zhang He rarely lies. So…okay, then. Then what's with that mist outside?

Zhang He: The mist? Well, it's certainly thanks to that mist that I'm unable to practice my dance moves today!

Xiahou Dun: …so, you don't have any single clue about the mist and this apparent gay plague?

Zhang He: NO! Now would you please release me?

Jia Xu: Huff…ah hell, since you seem to be innocent anyway, alright.

 _Later_ …

Xiahou Dun: Great. So it turned out that Zhang He is NOT involved in any way in this case. What now?

Jia Xu: Hmm…the mist.

Xiahou Dun: Oh right, you've already mentioned that earlier. But the problem is that how can we prove whether this is true or not without risking being gay ourselves?

Jia Xu: Hmm….

Xun Yu: Hey, it's you two.

Jia Xu: …ah! Perfect!

Xiahou Dun: Hm? Him? You seri-

Jia Xu: Ssshhh…okay, watch me. Ahem, Master Xun Yu, today is a beautiful day, isn't it?

Xun Yu: Eh? I'm not quite sue about that, considering the thick mist outside…

Jia Xu: Yeah, yeah, we know that the mist is a huge bother…but let me ask you one simple question: do you think that Cai Wenji is beautiful?

Xun Yu: E-eh?! W-what kind of question is that?!

Jia Xu: Ohoho, you're clearly flustered…I take this as a yes, hm?

Xun Yu: E-eh, erm, gah….y-yes.

Jia Xu: Oho. Very good. Now, please follow me. **drags Xun Yu to the front**

Xiahou Dun: Wha?!

Xun Yu: AH?! Whoa, whoa, what are you doing?!

Jia Xu: Now that you answered correctly, I'd like to prove one thing….

Xun Yu: P-proving what?! Hey, what are you doing? Why would we go outside when the mist is still- AAAAAHHHH!

Jia Xu: **immediately closes door** HUFF! Man, I hope I didn't inhale some of that…

Xiahou Dun: What the- What the hell were you doing?!

Jia Xu: Now we'll just wait until…AH! Perfect! **opens door and drags Xun Yu in** So…how long was that?

Xiahou Dun: Err…15 seconds?

Jia Xu: …yep. Oy, wake up!

Xun Yu: Grrrhhh….TCH! The fuck were you thinking, throwing me out in the mist like that?!

Jia Xu: Hoho, sorry for that. Now, let me ask that again: do you think that Cai Wenji is beautiful?

Xun Yu: Well, you already know the answer- eh?

Xiahou Dun and Jia Xu: Hm?

Xun Yu: What is this…I'm…dizzy…ngrgh…. **faints again**

Xiahou Dun: Wha-?!

Jia Xu: **carries Xun Yu** Well, time to put him to the bedroom so that he can recover.

Xiahou Dun: Ummm…hey, do you think that?

Jia Xu: Hm?

Xiahou Dun: Wait…maybe this is what happens everytime someone inhales that mist?

Jia Xu: Quite possibly. Of course, we have to wait for him to wake up first so that we can see whether this is truly what caused the gay plague.

 _Suddenly, they heard a loud knocking sound from outside._

Xiahou Dun: What the hell?! What's that?!

Jia Xu: Is someone outside? No, it can't be…

 _When the door opens..._

Yuan Shao: NOBODY SHALL DENY MY NOBLE ARRIVAL!

Xiahou Dun and Jia Xu: GLKH!

Yuan Shao: Now, where is Cao Cao?!

Xiahou Dun and Jia Xu: What?! WHAT THE HELL?!

Cao Cao: OY! What's all the ruckus- WHAT?!

Xiahou Dun: SHIT! SHIT! FUCK! HE'S HERE!

Jia Xu: Eh, erm, hide, HIDE!

Yuan Shao: Ah-HA! So you're here!

Cao Cao: What the…Yuan Shao?! What the hell are you doing?! And…how in the hell you managed to get here with that thick mist outside?!

Yuan Shao: Hm! Well, it really was quite hard to reach the place as I kept bumping onto trees and shit, but that's all fine since now, I could finally reclaim what I rightfully own!

Cao Cao: What! You mean you intend to take my territory?! I thought we've long ended that shit long ago!

Yuan Shao: Ah, no! I don't intend to take your territory or anything…no! All of those things doesn't matter…as long as I can…

Jia Xu: …wait a minute…no, no, no, NO, NO, NO.

Yuan Shao: …as long as I can get YOU! **holds Cao Cao's hands**

Cao Cao: E-eh?!

Jia Xu: FUCK! FUCK!

Yuan Shao: ...we've been close since we were children, Cao Cao. Why won't you accept my love?

Cao Cao: A-ah?! Ah…no…I…

Jia Xu: **flees to Xiahou Dun** Okay, NOW we're in for some REALLY deep shit.

Xiahou Dun: What? What happened?

Jia Xu: Yuan Shao…hrmf…

Xiahou Dun: What is it? Wait, if he traveled through all this thick mist just to go here…

Jia Xu: You got it. He's in love with Lord Cao Cao.

Xiahou Dun: WHAT THE FUCK?!

Jia Xu: I know, I know! Sigh…so, this gay plague has spread to the entire region as well, not just in this place.

Xiahou Dun: Well, fuck. Then, what are we going to do?!

Jia Xu: I don't know…we'll just see Lord Cao Cao's reaction…

Cao Cao: Um…I'm sorry, I can't…

Yuan Shao: But why?! Look, you PROMISED!

Cao Cao: Yeah! But look what happened after Guandu!

Yuan Shao: Look, I was sorry, okay! Please?

Cao Cao: I'm sorry…I can't…because I'm already in love with someone else…

Xiahou Dun: FUCK! SHIT!

Jia Xu: Ssshh! Anyway…

Yuan Shao: Then who is that person?!

Cao Cao: He…he is my precious Dunny…and no one, I mean NO ONE could take his place!

Xiahou Dun: WAAAAHHHRRGGGHHH! KILL ME NOW! **pulls out podao to kill himself, but was stopped by Jia Xu**

Jia Xu: You idiot! Don't!

Xiahou Dun: But-

Guo Jia: Okay, what's all the ruckus he- Huh?!

Yuan Shao: Hm?! AH! Guo Jia! YOU! What have I done wrong to you to the point that you left me and helped Cao Cao destroy me?!

Guo Jia: Eh, uhhh...

Yuan Shao: Okay, that doesn't matter. The thing is...I will kill that one-eyed freak so I can have my precious Cao Cao!

Xiahou Dun: SHIT! FRUCK!

Jia Xu: Ah hell...

Cao Cao: NOOO! DON'T DO THAT!

Yuan Shao: YES I WILL! YOU'RE TEARING ME APART, CAO CAO!

Guo Jia: YOU CAN'T DO THAT! GAH!

Xiahou Dun: Huff...how, how's the situation there?!

Jia Xu: Well, Lord Cao Cao and Guo Jia are trying to refrain Yuan Shao from killing you...

Xiahou Dun: Good lord...why, why do I always to be the butt end of this kind of things?!

Jia Xu: Maybe because you're popular and everyone likes you.

Xiahou Dun: You're probably right.

Jia Xu: Okay, now we definitely gotta check on Xun Yu. Who knows if the gayness has infected him and we have to prevent him from doing anything nasty.

Xiahou Dun: Okay, okay.

Jia Xu: Right, follow my lead. **sneaks**

Xiahou Dun: **sneaks**

Jia Xu: WHEW! Come, we have no time to wa-

Zhang He: AAAAAHHHH! SAVE MEEEEE!

Jia Xu and Xiahou Dun: WAAAAAHHHH!

Cao Cao, Yuan Shao, and Guo Jia: **turns towards the source** Huh?

Yuan Shao: THERE! I WILL PUT AN END TO YOU, YOU EYEBALL-EATER!

Cao Cao: NOOOO! DON'T DO ITTTT!

Jia Xu, Xiahou Dun, and Zhang He: AAAAAHHHHHH! **runs**

 _Hours of jealousy-filled chasing later..._

Jia Xu: Huff, huff...THERE! TO THAT ROOM!

Xiahou Dun and Zhang He: WAAAAAHHHHH!

Jia Xu: **quickly closes door** Huff, huff!

Yuan Shao: **attempts to break through the door** TCH! YOU! OPEN UP! HOW DARE YOU TO LOCK A NOBLE LIKE ME OUTSIDE! YOU WILL- **continues blabbering nonsense**

Jia Xu: Huff...huff...tch, IT'S ALWAYS YOU AGAIN!

Zhang He: AAAHHH!

Jia Xu: Seriously...what, WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT EVEN FOR?! HUH?!

Zhang He: A-ah! Umm, I'm, I'm sorry! It's just that...

Xiahou Dun: What?

Zhang He: It's that...while I was doing my usual dancing routine, I suddenly saw a really scary shadow rising behind me! I thought that was a ghost, which is why I was afraid!

Xiahou Dun: Oh, fucking great. Just when we're dealing with gays, NOW you suddenly mentioned a ghost.

Jia Xu: It's not that I want more problem, but with this mist around us a ghost appearing would make sense...but screw that. We'd be better dealing with this gay problem first. Huff...

Xiahou Dun: Is it clear?

Jia Xu: ...yeah. At least for now. No idea where Yuan Shao went to, though.

Xiahou Dun: Phew...seriously, fuck all of this, man...

Jia Xu: Well, now it's the time for us to go check on Xun Yu. Who knows, maybe Guo Jia will do...'something' to him. Hopefully it isn't too late...

 _ **To Be Continued...**_

* * *

Yeah, late update as always. I will improve on this, I promise. Oh well. Please leave review and have a good day!


	5. The Search

_Chapter 5: The Search_

* * *

 _Shu_

Zhuge Liang: Hrmf…goddammit, we've been bothered by so many gay guys around here now, but being trapped here due to that accursed mist outside just makes it all even worse. Hm, right, now that just raised a question: is the mist really the one that caused all of this? But is there a way of knowing it without risking turning gay myself?

Yueying: My husband! Still worrying about Jiang Wei and the others?

Zhuge Liang: Eh? Well, of course….

Yueying: I really hope Zhao Yun's alright. With that so many people chasing him, male and female alike…

Zhuge Liang: Yeah. Not even his mighty spear will protect him from THAT…oh, by the way, I need your help.

Yueying: Hm?

Zhuge Liang: C'mere for a sec.

Yueying: Umm…w-where? Outside? But, that mist-

Zhuge Liang: Precisely. **opens door and throws Yueying outside**

Yueying: W-wait, what are you- WHOAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

Zhuge Liang: Now let's see if that mist could actually cause something- uh?

Xu Shu: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

Zhuge Liang: What the?!

Xu Shu: HWAAAAA! Oh, Master Sleeping Dragon! Help me!

Zhuge Liang: What's the fuss all about?! Huh?!

Ma Dai: UWAAAAAHHHH! HELP MEEEEE!

Xu Shu: AAAAAHHHHH! IT'S HIM!

Zhuge Liang: Ma Dai? Hey, what's wrong? What did you do to Xu Shu?

Ma Dai: I-I…I don't know! I frankly don't know!

Zhuge Liang: What do you mean?

Xu Shu: He tried to rape me!

Zhuge Liang: What?! Ma Dai too?!

Xu Shu: 'Too'?

Ma Dai: I don't know! I…I lost control of my body! It moved on it's own!

Zhuge Liang: What in the holy hell…

Xu Shu: H-he tried to force himself onto me! Help me!

Zhuge Liang: Err…o…kay…now, Ma Dai, what is the meaning of all this?

Ma Dai: I'm dead serious! I initially got dizzy, and then suddenly my body's moving all by itself! I don't have any idea how this happened!

Zhuge Liang: Sigh….seriously…okay, know what, come with me.

Ma Dai: Seriously…I, I genuinely am sorry. I don't know what possessed me back then! I, I…

Zhuge Liang: Okay, okay, that's alright. You'll turn normal.

Ma Dai: Really? I will?

Zhuge Liang: Yeah…just, make sure you don't see Xu Shu for a while, lest your gay urges will come up again…

Ma Dai: Whaaaattt?!

Zhuge Liang: It's the only solution…..eh, holy shit!

Ma Dai: What?

Zhuge Liang: Crap! I forgot about Yueying! Hrmf… **opens door and drags Yueying back inside**

Yueying: Huff….cough, cough! HEY! What the hell was that for?!

Zhuge Liang: I'm sorry. It was necessary because I need to do some research.

Yueying: What kind of research?! …oh! No…don't tell me…you've turned gay too?!

Zhuge Liang: What?! HELL NO! What I want to ask is whether you have or not!

Yueying: Ehh?! M-me?

Zhuge Liang: Yeah. I want to see whether or not that mist is the one who causes all this gayness.

Yueying: AND YOU'RE TESTING IT ON ME?!

Zhuge Liang: Yeah. It's not like you can find other girls to- OW!

Yueying: Now that's just a cruel thing to do! Leaving me out in the mist like that…I could die!

Zhuge Liang: Well, then just answer the question!

Yueying: Well, I'm not exactly sure what you're taking this to, but no! I'm still straight!

Zhuge Liang: Eh?! Hmm…

Yueying: So?

Zhuge Liang: Ah, yes…a good enough answer. (Hrmf…okay, so apparently this mist did NOT cause this…wait, perhaps that's only because Yueying is female? And she did not turn dizzy like the symptoms the others had too…hrmf, who else could I test this with..?)

 _ **"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"**_

Zhuge Liang: Hm?! What's going on- GASP!

Zhao Yun: HHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEELLLLLLPPPPPPPP MMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEE!

Hordes of Peons: KYAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! PLEASE COME TO USSSSSSSSS!

Zhuge Liang: …you HAD to be fucking kidding me.

Zhao Yun: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! ZHUGE, HEEEEELLLLPPPP!

Zhuge Liang: Tch! This way!

Zhao Yun: Huff, huff, huff….

Zhuge Liang: What the hell was that just now?!

Zhao Yun: Don't you see it?! It was those peons!

Zhuge Liang: Oh my god…apparently, this gay plague doesn't affect just the playables, eh.

Zhao Yun: Zhuge, you'd better find a solution to this as soon as possible! I can't take this anymore! Sob, sob…whenever someone here turns gay, they ALWAYS come for me! This is ridiculous!

Zhuge Liang: Your fault for being the poster boy, but did you notice anything weird with those peons beforehand?

Zhao Yun: Hmm? Eh, well yes…for some reason suddenly a large number of peons suddenly fainted at the back garden. We suspect that it could've been the mist that caused it…

Zhuge Liang: The mist…and then?

Zhao Yun: Well, when we brought them in, this happened! Gah, I wanna die…

Zhuge Liang: I see…so dizziness, fainting, and then gayness, all caused by that mist….

Zhao Yun: Hm?

Zhuge Liang: Zhao Yun, I think I finally know what caused this!

Zhao Yun: Really?!

Zhuge Liang: Yeah! But we still don't know how to fix it, however…

Zhao Yun: Hrmf….

Zhuge Liang: Okay, first of all, we need to go to my secret laboratory.

Zhao Yun: Secret laboratory?!

Zhuge Liang: Err…yeah. Sorry for not telling it before.

Zhao Yun: No, it's just that that stuff is WAY too anachronistic…

Zhuge Liang: You're complaining about anachronisms in Dynasty Warriors?! Pfft. Come on, we have no time to wa-

Liu Bei: AH! HELLO THERE!

Zhuge Liang and Zhao Yun: AAAAAHHHH!

Liu Bei: Where have you been, my beloved sleeping dragon? Why won't you come to-

Zhuge Liang: Zhao Yun, RUN!

Zhuge Liang and Zhao Yun: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Liu Bei: E-eh?! Hey, where are you going?! HEEEEYYYYYYYYY!

Zhuge Liang: Huff, huff, huff….hm! Over there!

Zhao Yun: HYAAAAHHH!

Zhuge Liang and Zhao Yun: Pant, pant, pant….

Zhuge Liang: Good, good…now, all we need is to unlock this door, and-

?: Up to your old tricks again, eh?

Zhuge Liang and Zhao Yun: WAAAAAAHHHHH!

Zhuge Liang: Eh? Oh….Fa Zheng! It's you!

Fa Zheng: Hahahaha! Oh man, your face was hilarious.

Zhuge Liang: Seriously! Don't just surprise people like that!

Fa Zheng: When was the time I didn't, hmm? By the way, what are you doing?

Zhao Yun: Erm, that…

Zhuge Liang: We intends to go to my secret laboratory.

Fa Zheng: Secret laboratory?! Now that's one thing I have definitely never heard before…

Zhuge Liang: Yeah, yeah. And, by the way…are you?

Fa Zheng: Gay? Hahaha…no. I'm not gay. At least, not yet. Listen here, I want to help you two.

Zhao Yun: Wha?! YOU?! Helping us?!

Fa Zheng: Yes. After all, before I came here Guan Suo turned gay and tried to do…something to me, and I wanna pay him for what he's done.

Zhuge Liang: Guan Suo? Ah, shit, the amount of the infected has piled even further…well fine then, let's go in.

Zhao Yun: Whoaaa….hot shit, man!

Fa Zheng: Now, if only you would actually USE this against our wars against Wu and Wei…

Zhuge Liang: Well, that's only because most of the stuff I invented here are potentially dangerous! Like this one laser bow I have here. Years and I STILL haven't found a proper way to use it without it bouncing off and hitting something that's not my target.

Zhao Yun: Laser bow?! Well, fuck that shit man, if ALL of us uses this…

Zhuge Liang: I told you, it's too dangerous! And now…

Fa Zheng: Hm? What are you doing?

Zhuge Liang: Here…okay, lemme ask one question. The chronology of the incident between you and Guan Suo.

Fa Zheng: Oh, that…

* * *

 _Flashback, from Fa Zheng's POV_

Fa Zheng: Sigh…what a boring day, as usual. With this damned mist keeping trapping us inside this palace…hm?

Guan Yu: But, Suo! There's a thick mist outside!

Guan Suo: It's alright, father! I don't wanna just stay here like a vegetable! I wanna go out!

Bao Sanniang: Ooh, now that's just my perfect Suo! He keeps going on despite the thick mist!

Guan Xing: But seriously Suo, how the hell can you even train WHEN YOU CAN'T EVEN SEE A DARNED THING?!

Guan Suo: Naah, it's alright! I could kick someone's ass without even looking, see?!

Guan Yu: Sigh… **facepalm**

Guan Yinping: I think it's a bit useless trying to convince brother to not do his training…

Guan Ping: Okay, know what Suo, fine, you can do anything you want.

Guan Suo: Really?! OKAY! **leaps outside the door** SEE YOU- HRGKHL?!

The Guans: Huh?!

Guan Suo: Can't….breathe….cough, cough!

The Guans: SUO!

Bao Sanniang: AAAHHHH! Oh, MY BELOVED! It's alright, I could give him CPR!

Guan Suo: There's…no need to! Argh…my head….

Guan Yu: My son? You alright?

Guan Suo: My head…hurts….

Guan Xing: Don't push yourself!

Guan Suo: Erm….Fa….

The Guans: Huh?

Fa Zheng: Hm? What's going on here?

Guan Suo: Fa….Zheng! Oh, you're here!

Fa Zheng: H-huh?!

Guan Suo: Oh, how long have I to see you! Let us never be separated again!

Everyone else: WHAT THE FUCK?!

Bao Sanniang: Grrrr….. **turns towards Fa Zheng** YOU!

Fa Zheng: What the- HEY! LEGGO OF ME!

Guan Suo: NOOO! Please, stay with me!

Fa Zheng: WHY WOULD I?! PLUS, YOU'VE ALREADY GOT YOYR GIRLFRIEND OVER HERE!

Guan Suo: But she's boring! She always does that catgirl routine shit all the time…pfft!

Bao Sanniang: WHAT! How could you say such things to meeee?!

Fa Zheng: Shit!

Guan Suo: HEEEEYYYY! DON'T GO AWAYYYYYYYY!

Fa Zheng: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

The Guans: SUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

* * *

 _Back to present…._

Fa Zheng: I managed to barely escape from him, and I the met you two and, well, you know the rest.

Zhuge Liang: I see…well, then it's fix. The mist definitely caused all of this.

Zhao Yun: Hm?! You mean that the mist has the ability turn someone gay?

Zhuge Liang: Yes! I mean, with all of the cases we have here, the symptoms are all the same. They inhaled the mist, then got a headache, and then turned gay.

Fa Zheng: What kind of a mist is that, I wonder? To be able to turn someone gay…

Zhuge Liang: Weird, I know. But what's most important, of course, is to look for a cure. Now, let's see here…

* * *

 _Wu_

Zhou Yu: SUN CE! Where are you?! Huh, Lord Sun Jian?

Sun Jian: ….ah. You. Good.

Zhou Yu: Erm…what is it?

Sun Jian: Here, let me ask something. WHAT exactly happened between you and Ce?!

Zhou Yu: A-ah?! Urm, NO! Absolutely NONE.

Sun Jian: Is that true?! Well, when I went to check on him he was being brutally beat down by his own wife. When I asked him about it, he said that it was all because he loves you!

Zhou Yu: SIR! Let me explain.

 _After a long explanation…_

Sun Jian: What! A gay plague?! And my son is affected too?!

Zhou Yu: Yes. Look, I know it's a bit weird, but it's spreading fast and we don't even know what has caused it at the first place!

Sun Jian: Huff…there really has been some weird stuff happening recently…

Zhou Yu: ….and, while I know that it's really just a theory, this sudden appearance of gay plague that coincided with the appearance of this mysterious mist…

Sun Jian: ….you're saying that the mist could have possibly caused this?!

Zhou Yu: Exactly.

Sun Jian: Now that's one terrifying mist, being able to turn people gay, hrmf…

Zhou Yu: Sir, please. We have to work together before this gay plague spreads even further!

Sun Jian: Hmm….you're right. First of all-

 _ **"WAAAAAHHHH! HEY, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!"**_

Zhou Yu and Sun Jian: Huh?!

Zhou Yu: What happened?!

Lu Meng: Ah, Master Zhou Yu! You came in just at the right time!

Sun Jian: Lu Su?!

Lu Meng: Er, yes! I don't know why, but he suddenly fainted after saying that he got a headache!

Zhou Yu: (Headache? Fainting? …..no. This can't be!) Let me through! Hey, Lu Su! Lu Su!

Lu Su: Errggghhh….Master Zhou….Yu?

Zhou Yu: Are you alright?

Lu Su: I'm…alright…of course…

Zhou Yu: (Shit! What if he turns gay for me?! Hrmf…if there is any way to prevent this…) Lu Su, you need to rest. I'll take you to your room!

Lu Su: …hrngh…Master…Zhou Yu….you look rather…lovely today…

Zhou Yu: (FUCK! Okay, that's it. When this happens!)

Lu Su: …huh? Master Zhou Yu, that isn't my room…

Zhou Yu: Indeed it isn't.

Lu Su: Wait, what is this room?! And…Lu Xun?! Wait, what are you doing?! Why is Lu Xun- AAAAHHHH!

Zhou Yu: Huff…this has gotten out of hand.

Lu Meng: Master Zhou Yu!

Zhou Yu: Lu Meng?! Again?!

Lu Meng: We got a problem with those two kids again.

Zhou Yu: You mean- Gan Ning and Ling Tong?! Argh, no…

Lu Meng: Okay Ling Tong, I know you kept Gan Ning locked up there in your room, and he's screaming for help now.

Ling Tong: Ohoho…what's with it? Come on, it's not like that there's anything shady between us- Shit, SHIT! What the hell am I sayin'?!

Zhou Yu and Lu Meng: **sweatdrop while looking at each other**

Ling Tong: So the thing is, we are connected by something wonderful- THAT DEFINITELY DIDN'T HAPPEN BETWEEN US! NO!

Lu Meng: It's been going on like this for a while.

Zhou Yu: What?

Lu Meng: I know. It's as if he's got split personalities and are alternating between them!

Zhou Yu: …..

Ling Tong: Okay guys, I definitely don't understand what the hell is going on with me right now, but yes, I did lock Gan Ning inside my room. And I don't fucking understand why. And I sure as hell WOULD want to release his stinky ass out if it weren't for my gay-controlled body!

Zhou Yu: Err…okay…

Lu Meng: This is really troublesome…

Ling Tong: It is! Gah, I'm gonna have a hard time explaining to the others everytime my gay personality shows up!

Zhou Yu: Err…okay Lu Meng, I'll leave this to you. I'm gonna go check on Sun Ce!

Lu Meng: Whaatt?! Sigh, there you go again! Trashing all responsibilities to myself! Why do I always have to be associated with these two anyway…

 _ **To Be Continued…**_

* * *

Well then! Please leave a review and have a good day!


	6. The Lurking Horrors

_Chapter 6: The Lurking Horrors_

* * *

 _Jin_

Jia Chong: Sir.

Sima Yi: AH! Uhh…yes?

Jia Chong: Sir, it seems like Master Zhao's condition's getting worse over time.

Sima Yi: WHAT! How's that possible?

Jia Chong: Yeah. I don't know, but it seems that he's getting sicker and sicker, and he's only revitalized whenever I pass by his room.

Sima Yi: Sigh…this is really troubling…by the way, Zhong Hui's infected too.

Jia Chong: Really? Heh, not surprising.

Sima Yi: We REALLY got to do something about this, before it infects EVERYONE!

Jia Chong: Yes, sir, but we don't even know what caused this whole thing at the first place!

Sima Yi: Hrm…okay, since we're both 100% that it's really the mist causing this whole thing, the one thing we have to do is looking for the cure.

Jia Chong: That's precisely the problem. Hmm…maybe if we can analyze the current situation of Master Zhao's brain, we can-

 _Suddenly, the front door freezes._

Sima Yi: Huh?! What's that?! The door's freezing!

Jia Chong: I thought it's not winter yet…

Sima Yi: Maybe because of the mist? Eh no, that's no possi-

 _After that however, the entire palace begins to freeze._

Sima Yi: ….uhhhh….

Jia Chong: My lord, this doesn't seem good.

Sima Yi: That's because it's not!

Guo Huai: Cough, cough…brr…is it just me or is it getting colder here?!

Xiahou Ba: It's certainly not just you!

Sima Shi: Father, what's going on?!

Sima Yi: I…I'm not so sure…but…

 _After that, suddenly, the door shattered._

Everyone: AH!

Cao Pi: Huff…huff…NOW! Which one of you is Sima Yi?!

Sima Yi: A-ahhh?! L-l-l-lord C-c-c-cao P-p-pi?! Damn it, being afraid and cold at the same time is a bad combination.

Cao Pi: Huff…FINALLY! I'VE FOUND YOU! Come here. **drags Sima Yi by arm**

Everyone else: WHAAA?!

Sima Yi: What the- ey, get yo dirty gay-ass hand away from me, bitch!

Cao Pi: What?! How dare you to speak like that towards me?!

Sima Yi: E-ehh?! Eh, uhm, no! I mean, why did you come here?! Even with that mist?!

Cao Pi: Well, that's precisely! Listen, I need your help.

Sima Yi: W-what h-help?

Cao Pi: Listen, there's this gay plague that plagues my entire kingdom, and I bet the same happens in your kingdom as well, right?

Sima Yi: Uhh…yeah?

Cao Pi: Okay, the thing is that I saw my father trying to make perverted advances on my uncle, and it crept the fuck outta me. I need your help in solving this.

Sima Yi: But I'm trying to solve MY own problems here! Can't you just ask, I don't know, any of the three strategists you have there?!

Cao Pi: Well, I did, but they're all having their own 'fun', so if you're still straight, I want you to go to Wei and solve this.

Sima Yi: W-what?! Hell no, it can't be just like that!

Cao Pi: Why can't I?! I'm your lord, goddammit. And you're SUPPOSED to be helping Wei, not sneaking behind our backs and build your own little kingdom! So come with me!

Sima Yi: Argh! No, never!

Cao Pi: You dare to defy your lord?! If that's the case, then I – uh, urgh….

Sima Yi: Huh? My lord, you okay?

Cao Pi: I…don't know…I feel dizzy…ooh…

Sima Yi: …wait… **widens eyes** …oh shit, NO! ARGH!

Cao Pi: Where…do you think…you're going…?

Sima Yi: WARGH! NO! SOMEBODY HELP ME!

Cao Pi: I told you….you're MINE! You're not supposed to sneak behind me and build this shitty little kingdom! You HAVE to STAY with me and do as I say!

Sima Yi: WHAAAAARRRGGHHH! GO AWAY! **pushes Cao Pi away**

Cao Pi: Argh!

Sima Shi: Father, what's all the ruckus here?! And- WHOA?!

Cao Pi: WHAAAA!

Sima Shi: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

 _ **CHU~**_

Everyone: jawdrop

Sima Yi: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! MY SONNNNNNNN!

Sima Shi: Ergh…nnn….BAH! BWEH! PTOOEEEYY! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!

Cao Pi: Owh…hey, it was your father who pushed me, you know! But…hey…

Sima Shi: E-ehh?

Cao Pi: Well…from the way I look at it, you actually look the same as your father…only younger….soooo….

Sima Shi: What the…?!

Cao Pi: **kisses Sima Shi, again**

Sima Shi: WHA- Nnn…! NNN!

Sima Yi: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! GET AWAY FROM MY SON, YOU PEDOPHILE GAY-ASS BITCH! **drags Cao Pi away**

Cao Pi: GAH! YOU! SIMA YI, HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO ME?!

Sima Yi: THAT'S IT! I WON'T LET YOUR GAY-ASS TO PLAGUE THIS PLACE AGAIN! FUCK YOU! **kicks Cao Pi outside**

Cao Pi: Well, that's exactly what I want you to do to me! So you have to obey my every single- WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaa…

Sima Yi: Huff, huff….oh, Shi! Are you alright?!

Sima Shi: Blegh…augh…that tasted so bad. It was cold and tasted like grapes…eugh. I think I'm gonna puke…

Sima Yi: Shit, huff….okay, okay it's alright. He's gone now. Though I'm kinda worried how he's gonna survive in that mist…ah, he was being a dick anyway.

Wang Yuanji: MY LORD! HELP!

Sima Yi: AH! What?

Wang Yuanji: It's Master Zhao. His condition's getting worse!

Sima Yi and Sima Shi: WHAT?!

 _In Zhao's room…_

Sima Yi: Huff, huff, ZHAO! ZHAO, YOU ALRIGHT?!

Sima Zhao: Oohhh…everything's so sparkly~ lalalalalalalalala~ -AAAAHHH! Alas, 'tis the time for me to be carried away by the Angel of Death – take me away! Free me from this suffering of waiting for someone I know I can't ever get! Graaaargghhh….THE PAIN! Ooh, butterflies!

Sima Yi: **sweatdrop** Uhhh….gee, who knew Zhao could speak like that? Perhaps that gay virus has a bit of positive side effect too-

Sima Shi: FATHER! We have to be serious! What should we do?! We can't just bring Jia Chong in so that Zhao can satisfy his lust!

Sima Yi: I know! Hrmf…hey, Yuanji, when was the time- Huh?!

Sima Shi: Yuanji's gone!

Sima Yi: What! Where has she gone to?!

Sima Shi: I don't know!

Sima Yi: Gah! This situation only seems to be getting worse with each second! …okay, we have no choice! **lifts Zhao up**

Sima Zhao: AH! At last! 'Tis such a pity that I have to leave the world at such tender age! May my legacy be- **gets slapped by Sima Shi** OW!

Sima Shi: Get your mind off that gay-hallucination. Our dad is not fucking dead, idiot.

Sima Zhao: Urrgghh…AIGH! My vision is getting blurrier and blurrier, as I'm about the cross the fine line between fantasy and reality! Yaaaahhhh…

Sima Yi: Sigh…good lord.

Sima Shi: By the way father, where are we going anyway?

Sima Yi: To my secret lab.

Sima Shi: Secret lab? Holy shit, you never told me you have a secret lab.

Sima Yi: Why else would it be called 'secret', idiot? Shut up. We're going to analyze your brother so that this gay madness ends.

Sima Shi: Analyze? Err…I don't have a good feeling about this.

Sima Yi: Yes, but that doesn't necessarily mean it's bad, right? Come on. Let's just go in.

Sima Shi: Okay….whoa! Holy shit! How could you have enough time to do all of this work?

Sima Yi: Because I'm Sima Yi, dammit. Okay, Jia Chong!

Sima Shi: Jia Chong?

Jia Chong: Yes? Oh, sir, you've returned.

Sima Yi: Exactly. Here, I have the test subject right here.

Sima Shi: "Test subject"? Father, he's your own son! That's really demeaning!

Sima Yi: Listen, until we managed to turn him normal, I refuse to acknowledge this gay, messy prose-blathering sickling as my son, okay!

Sima Shi: What the…

Jia Chong: Okay…where do we start?

Sima Yi: Well, since you've already got things prepared while I was away, we first have to examine what's going on his brain, then track down the source.

Jia Chong: Right. **pulls out a chainsaw**

Sima Shi: WAAAAHHH! YOU, YOU'RE GOING TO USE THAT ON ZHAO?!

Sima Yi: Eh? Of course. With your brother's thick-headedness there's really no other way of doing it. Besides, you may just look away if you can't handle it.

Sima Shi: WAAAAAAAHHHHH!

* * *

 _Wei_

Jia Xu: Okay! Ahem, Master Xun Yu? You awake?

Xun Yu: Errrrgghhh…..huh? Hey, you! I'm still trying to figure out why you did something like that to me!

Jia Xu: Ah, you know this is for…research purpose. Now, from my question, do you think Cai Wenji is beautiful?

Xun Yu: Beautiful? Hmm…yes, I do admit that she is…

Xiahou Dun: **whispers** Uhhh…okay?

Jia Xu: Just wait a minute.

Xun Yu: …

Jia Xu: …well? That's all?

Xun Yu: Yeah. After all, that's what you asked, right?

Xiahou Dun: Uhhh….

Jia Xu: What…okay, hey, we're going out for a bit.

 _After Xiahou Dun, Jia Xu, and Zhang He left…_

Xiahou Dun: Great. The mist turned out to NOT cause this.

Jia Xu: NO! Argh, I'm 100% sure that the mist was the originator!

Xiahou Dun: But then you saw it for yourself! Even after being thrown to the mist, Xun Yu's feelings about Cai Wenji doesn't change!

Jia Xu: Yes, but I get the feeling that his sentence, after admitting that Cai Wenji is beautiful, is cut off…it's like he was trying to hide…something…

Cai Wenji: Oh? Hello, guys.

Xiahou Dun and Jia Xu: WAAAAAAHHHHH!

Xiahou Dun: Oh? Whoah…it's you!

Jia Xu: Yeah! Man, speak of the devil…and here I thought only Lord Cao Cao has that ability…

Cai Wenji: What are you two talking about?

Xiahou Dun: Eh, erm…

Jia Xu: …well, we're concerned about this mist outside.

Cai Wenji: Oh, right…thanks to it we can't do anything.

Xiahou Dun: True.

 _ **"AAAAAAAAAHHHH!"**_

Everyone: Huh?!

Zhenji: My husband! Has anyone seen my husband?!

Xiahou Dun: Er….Cao Pi?

Jia Xu: I thought he's always with you, right?

Zhenji: Yes! But suddenly….he's gone! Oh, this is terrible!

Xiahou Dun and Jia Xu: … **widens eyes**

Xiahou Dun: Psst.

Jia Xu: What?

Xiahou Dun: Does this mean?

Jia Xu: Yes, yes.

Xiahou Dun: Errr…okay, we know. We'll help look for him.

Zhenji: Really?!

Jia Xu: Yeah, yeah.

Zhenji: Oh, thank you so much, two of you!

Xiahou Dun: Yeah, yeah….SHIT! Now Cao Pi too?!

Jia Xu: I know, I know! Shit, now we have 5 people infected!

Xiahou Dun: GAH! …you know what, maybe we really can't keep this whole thing secret anymore.

Jia Xu: Why not?!

Xiahou Dun: Because this way none except us know about the dangers of the mist! Rather, if we inform everyone about it, then they'll be able to help us in this case!

Jia Xu: Hrm…well, you've got a point, but still-

Zhang He: HYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Xiahou Dun and Jia Xu: WARGH!

Jia Xu: For fuck's sake, WHAT IS IT?!

Zhang He: **points at something** T-there, THERE! THAT'S THE GHOST THAT CHASED ME EARLIER!

Xiahou Dun and Jia Xu: GHOST?!

Zhang He: Aaahhh…IT'S COMING!

Everyone: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Zhang Liao: Whoa, hey, why are you all screaming?

Xiahou Dun: E-ehh?! It's you!

Zhang Liao: I heard you were saying something about ghosts? Hahaha, that's so silly. I'm not a ghost!

Jia Xu: **glares at Zhang He**

Zhang He: E-ehh…well…he was so menacing that I thought-

Jia Xu: Okay, that's enough. By the way…

* * *

 _Actually, back at Xun Yu…_

Xun Yu: …phew…man, when Jia Xu asked me that, the truth is there's someone far more beautiful than Cai Wenji…but I can't reveal it to anybody, lest they'll shun me…sigh…

Guo Jia: Hm? Oy, Xun Yu!

Xun Yu: A-ahh?! **blushes** Err…y-yes?

Guo Jia: Are you alright? I heard that you passed out after inhaling that mist.

Xun Yu: I-I'm alright….emmm…

Guo Jia: What?

Xun Yu: You know…there's something I'd like to tell you…ermmm….

Guo Jia: What?

Xun Yu: You know…for the longest time…I actually like you.

Guo Jia: Gasp…it's that true?!

Xun Yu: Y-yes….

Guo Jia: Oh my god…Xun Yu, you know what? …I also have been thinking the same…

Xun Yu: …Guo Jia….

Guo Jia: …Xun Yu...

* * *

 _Following is an R-rated scene which I will decide to skip to maintain the T-rating. Moving on…_

Jia Xu: …what were you doing to Zhang He, anyway?

Zhang Liao: Eh? No, I didn't do anything to him!

Xiahou Dun: Really? Then why was he terrified?

Zhang Liao: Ehhh…because he's, you know, Zhang He. Besides, I was only trying to get out-

Jia Xu: Wawawait a minute, get out? There's a thick mist outside!

Zhang Liao: I know! But, ehm…it's, it's an urgent business, okay! It's alright, you don't have to worry about me. As the mighty Demon of Hefei, a mere puny mist can't stop me! Okay, later.

Jia Xu: GAH! NO! **pulls Zhang Liao back**

Zhang Liao: Ehh, why? Let me go! I told you not to worry about me!

Jia Xu: You don't understand! That mist is dangerous! You can't inhale it, or else!

Zhang Liao: ….or else what?

Jia Xu: Or else….erm….you….you'll turn gay!

Zhang Liao: ….gay? That mist turns whoever that inhales it into gay?

Xiahou Dun: Yes!

Zhang Liao: … **widens eyes** Shit….

Jia Xu: Why? Don't tell me you inhaled it?

Zhang Liao: Y-yeah…..WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Everyone: GLKH!

Zhang Liao: NOOOOOOOOOO! Argh, I….I REALIZED IT NOW!

Xiahou Dun: What?

Zhang Liao: That…that stuff I said to you two earlier…and now that I want to see Lord Lu Bu up in the Other residence…I NOW UNDERSTAND! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

Xiahou Dun and Jia Xu: **widens eyes**

Zhang Liao: Guys….please…. **kneels down and holds Jia Xu's hands** PLEASE, TELL ME HOW TO TURN NORMAL AGAIN!

Jia Xu: E-eh?! Well, to be honest we are still trying to-

Zhang Liao: I BEG YOU!

Xiahou Dun: E-ehh…well, what now?

Jia Xu: …alright. Come with me.

Zhang Liao: Eh? W-where to?

Jia Xu: We're going to…'analyze' you to find a solution.

Zhang Liao: Analyze? Err…this won't involve chainsaws, right?

Jia Xu: Thankfully, no. Okay, let's get going.

 _ **To Be Continued….**_

* * *

As always, the God of Laziness managed to win yet again, bringing upon thee these late-ass updates. Oh well, at least I'm still continuing this. Please leave a review and have a good day!


	7. The Research

_Chapter 7: The Research_

* * *

 _Shu_

Zhao Yun: Okay, so how will you do this?

Zhuge Liang: Well, I've managed to gain a sample of the mist. Now, I'm gonna put it in here, aaanddd….

Fa Zheng: Hmmm…well?

Zhuge Liang: ….what?!

Zhao Yun: Eh? What is it?

Zhuge Liang: This mist…this mist is actually not a mist.

Fa Zheng: Not a mist? Wha, what do you mean?

Zhuge Liang: Look at it here! When I zoomed the microscope in, you can see that it is, in fact, a solid object! Okay, a really, really, REALLY small and tiny solid object, but it's solid!

Zhao Yun: Oh…hey, you mean that it could be some sort of…a paper fragment?

Zhuge Liang: Yes, yes. And here, you could also see other fragments to be blotted, or black. I'm fully convinced that this 'mist' is really an amalgamation of shredded paper.

Zhao Yun: Whoa…well, if that's the case, then how can shredded paper cause us to turn gay?

Zhuge Liang: Well, that's what I will attempt to do. I will try to turn these shredded paper fragments into a whole, complete paper so that we can see what it actually is, and why it can turn people gay.

Fa Zheng: I see. But…how? The fragments are so goddamn tiny it actually forms a mist! It'll take forever!

Zhuge Liang: And that, my friend, is the reason why we have TECHNOLOGY! **Whistles**

A robot-servant that resembles Jiang Wei comes out.

Robo-Jiang Wei: Yes, master?

Zhuge Liang: Bring me the tool EB2345-RGNRT675.

Robo-Jiang Wei: Away, sir.

Zhao Yun: Uhh…what was that?

Zhuge Liang: Are you blind? It's my very own personal robo-servant.

Fa Zheng: Yeah, we know that. It's just that he kinda resembles…someone…

Zhuge Liang: Nah, it's alright. The real deal is no different anyway.

Robo-Jiang Wei: The tool is ready, sir.

Zhuge Liang: Okay, great!

Zhao Yun: Uhh…okay, just askin'…just how many inventions, tools, and crazy gadgets do you have here, by the way?!

Zhuge Liang: Hm? Around 1 million or so…but that's without counting the broken or malfunctioning ones…

Fa Zheng: Whoa…just when I thought I couldn't hate you more, you just suddenly pulled out all of these 1 million casabazongas out of your ass.

Zhuge Liang: Shut up and just accept the fact that you can't be as awesome as me. Okay! Let's get this thing worki-

 _ **"BOOOOOOMMMM!"**_

Everyone: COUGH! COUGH!

Fa Zheng: What the…hey, Mr. Genius! Why did the machine just explode right in front of our faces?!

Zhuge Liang: Cough, cough…oh, right, this thing has actually been broken since four weeks ago, and I forgot to fix it….

Zhao Yun: So much for 'Sleeping Dragon', huh?

Zhuge Liang: Hey! Oh well, at least we actually got SOME results! …hmm? I see! So this is actually a panel of some sort of a comic…let's see….

Everyone: ….. **widens eyes and blushes**

Zhuge Liang: …what…

Zhao Yun: ….in the name of heaven above, earth, and hell below…

Fa Zheng: ….IS THIS FUCKING SHIT?!

* * *

 _Wu_

Zhou Yu: Huff, huff….SUN CE!

Sun Ce: Gaaarrrgghhh….ooh! Finally! My time has finally come…but it's alright! I have no regrets, since I will be carried away by such a beautiful angel like yo-

Zhou Yu: Cut that crap out! You're still alive! It's me, Zhou Yu!

Sun Ce: Oh, so Zhou Yu is an angel the whole time? That explains a lot. Please, if you would-

Zhou Yu: **smacks Sun Ce**

Sun Ce: OW!

Zhou Yu: We SERIOUSLY need to get you treated.

Sun Jian: AH! CE! Are, are you alright?

Sun Ce: Oh, hey there pops! Of course I'm alright! How can you not like it when you're being carried by an ange- OW!

Zhou Yu: Sir, we need to get him treated immediately.

Sun Jian: Ehh, right…

Sun Quan: FATHER! FATHER! BAD NEWS! Eh, WHOA! What happened to brother?!

Sun Jian: Quan! Eh, um, long story. By the way, what bad news?

Sun Quan: Suddenly, suddenly….Shangxiang, Daqiao, Xiaoqiao, and Lianshi are missing!

Everyone: WHAT?!

Zhou Yu: Wha, what do you mean?!

Sun Quan: I, I don't know! They just suddenly disappeared!

Zhou Yu: What the- …hrmf…okay, at least the good side is that they won't throw a terrifying bitchfit if their respective husbands turn gay.

Sun Quan: Gay?

Zhou Yu: Aw, shit! Shouldn't have said that…

Sun Quan: AAAAHHH! Who, who's gay?! Who's gay around here?! Is there anyone around here out to scar my digni-

Zhou Yu: Tch, idiot! SHUT UP!

Sun Quan: E-eh?!

Zhou Yu: Sigh…look, if you wanna know, come with us.

Sun Quan: Whoa, what are you gonna do?

Sun Jian: First, we're gonna treat your brother. Second-

Zhou Yu: Know what, we're gonna explain all of this after we get your brother treated.

Sun Quan: Gee, what's with all the secrecy? Why can't you guys tell me?! I'm gonna be the freaking Emperor of Wu!

Sun Jian: Yes, yes….even after that shitstorm you let coming to your empire…sigh…

Zhou Yu: Whew! Okay, he will need to heal down here. And…well, Lord Sun Jian, Lord Sun Quan, c'mere.

Sun Jian: Whoa? Where are we going?

Zhou Yu: **enters the room Lu Xun and Lu Su were locked in** Here, to solve this problem, we need to- OHMAGAZABANGAGAJIG! WHAT IN THE NAME OF FLAMING SHIPS OF CHIBI ARE YOU DOING?!

Sun Jian and Sun Quan: **barfs (?!) blood**

Lu Su and Lu Xun: **widens eyes and jawdrop in the middle of their….you know**

Lu Su: Oh, ehh…hehehehehe…Master Zhou Yu! I, eh, umm…

Zhou Yu: DUDE! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! YOU REALIZE HOW FUCKING SICK THAT IS?!

Lu Xun: Sick? But Master Lu Su gladly offered to 'educate' me-

Zhou Yu: THAT'S NOT EDUCATION! HOW IDIOT YOU WOULD BE TO FALL FOR THAT?! GAH! FUCK THIS! GOOD LORD, JUST, JUST PUT YOUR GODDAMN CLOTHES ON BEFORE I DECIDE WHAT TO DO AT YOU! GAH! MY EYES BURN HOTTER THAN YILING!

Sun Jian: Whoa…

Sun Quan: Holy mama…hey, I thought this fic is T-rated!

Sun Jian: Yes, yes, despite the swearings. But now even the Author has decided to drop in sex scenes and…this…

Sun Quan: Yeah, I mean we all know that the Author is a sick, twisted piece of shit…but even I never thought she would stoop THIS low!

Zhou Yu: GAH! Huff…hey, are you two alright?

Sun Jian and Sun Quan: Er….yeah…

Zhou Yu: Huff. Good. Good.

 _Later…_

Zhou Yu: Huff…okay. So, the problem is, at the same time this thick mist appeared around us, ALL OVER THIS COUNTRY, suddenly a number of our officers turned gay.

Sun Quan: Whoa! Why?

Zhou Yu: Well, that's precisely the thing I will attempt to find out. The closest suspect, however, is the mist itself. I started to notice several things…whenever someone goes out and inhales some of the mist, they will start to have headaches, or in worse cases, become outright sick. Later, when they recover, they turn gay. So far the victims have been Sun Ce, Ling Tong, and these two Lu's right here.

Sun Quan: Holy…what kind of mist is that? Turning people gay…I used to think that chemical weapons are the most terrifying thing in the world, but now I think THIS is more effective…

Zhou Yu: Yes, yes, but know we need to focus on finding the cure to this gay plague...

Sun Jian: After that, maybe we can probably use the mist as a weapon to Wei and Shu?

Zhou Yu: Probably…though I don't think inflicting gayness to people of other kingdoms would weaken them though…as far as I know it will only serve to make them STRONGER instead…okay, first of all, we need this.

Lu Su: …is that…wha, what is that syringe?!

Zhou Yu: What? It's an anesthetic. Or you want to feel the pure sensation OF HAVING YOUR HEAD CUT OPEN?!

Lu Xun: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Zhou Yu: Well, exactly. So stop whining, and-

Lu Su: OW- zzzzzzz…..

Lu Xun: WAAAAA- zzzzzz….

Sun Jian: Holy shit! Not even in my era I have ever seen something like that!

Zhou Yu: Be glad that you're surprised. Now, Sun Quan! Prepare the scalpel!

Sun Quan: Scalpel? Uhh…we don't have any.

Zhou Yu: What?! What do you mean we don't?!

Sun Quan: Yeah, I mean….look it here…you only have knives, axes, Gan Ning's DW6 daggers, your old PS2-era sword, butcher knives, and….a chainsaw?

Sun Jian and Sun Quan: **stares at Zhou Yu with a look of horror**

Zhou Yu: Ehhh…uh, urm, well! Just grab anything that you found!

Sun Quan: …okay…well! How about this?

Zhou Yu: Ah! Perfect! Okay, this following scene is not for the faint of heart, so if you would excuse me…

* * *

 _The following is an R-rated scene that under the rating guidelines of can't be displayed here, so how if we move on to Wei?_

Xiahou Dun: Hey, where are we going, really?

Jia Xu: Hmm…aha! Over here!

Zhang Liao: Huh? What is this room?

Jia Xu: Well, that's precisely what I want to show you today.

Xiahou Dun and Zhang Liao: WHOA!

Zhang Liao: Holy mother of Dong! Look at all these!

Xiahou Dun: Seriously…hey, despite you being a total wack-off, this lab is real damn impressive.

Jia Xu: Ahaha…yeah, yeah. So have fun while you're still here.

Zhang Liao: Ooh, what is this?

Jia Xu: Ey, don't touch that! Don't touch anything in this lab! Well, okay Zhang Liao, here's the deal. **snaps fingers**

Zhang Liao: What is- **suddenly gets strapped onto an operating bed** WAAAHHHH! WHAT, WHAT IS THIS?!

Jia Xu: Well, we're about to operate on you to see what is fucking with your brain and turned you gay. Clear enough for you?

Zhang Liao: O…operate?

Jia Xu: Yeah. Well, we have to be quick. First of all, Xiahou Dun, get the MRI.

Xiahou Dun: MRI? Seriously man, where'd you get all this fancy tech from? And being the jackass whackoff you are you never used it to at least contribute to our kingdom!

Jia Xu: Well, I just use it at emergencies. Okay…well, look at it here. See that part of the brain right there?

Xiahou Dun: Hm? Why does it look like it's covered in snow or something?

Jia Xu: It kinda resembles the mist, don't you think?

Xiahou Dun: Holy…

Jia Xu: Okay! This means that we have to cut your head open to see what's REALLY going on there!

Zhang Liao: W-wait, WHAT?! GUYS, you…YOU'RE GOING TO CUT MY HEAD OPEN?!

Jia Xu: Yeah. What, you wanna keep on living with those gay thoughts, or?!

Zhang Liao: B-BUT BUT BUT! THERE GOTTA BE AN ALTERNATIVE!

Jia Xu: Sigh…look, you know what, just rest easy. It will be quick, unless if you keep on bitching and dragging us even longer!

Zhang Liao: WAAAHH! Erm…okay, OKAY!

Jia Xu: Yeah, yeah…good boy. Now, first, the anesthetic-

Zhang Liao: JUST, JUST DO IT DAMMIT!

Jia Xu: Sheesh, I know, I know. I told you not to drag this longer, but be patient-

Zhang Liao: QUICK, YOU COWARDS! GET IT DONE!

Jia Xu: Jeez, who's calling the other a coward…FINE, YOU WANT IT, THERE YOU HAVE IT!

Zhang Liao: OWWW! THAT HURTS SO- zzzzzzzzz…..

Xiahou Dun: ….wow. Color me impressed.

Jia Xu: You don't have to, but be glad that you are anyway. Okay, LET'S BEGIN THE OPERATION!

Zhang He: Hey, that's my line- AAAAHHH! WHA, WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING?!

Jia Xu: Eh? Zhang He? Why are you suddenly here?

Zhang He: Umm…that's because I was, ehh…

Jia Xu: …oh well, screw it. We have to get this done quickly, or else-

Zhang He: AAAHHH! W-wait!

Xiahou Dun: Oh, for crying out loud! What is it?!

Zhang He: Wha…what are you guys doing to him?!

Jia Xu: Hm? Well, we're operating.

Zhang He: Operating?! B-but why?!

Xiahou Dun: It's to find out what caused this gay problem, idiot. Look, if you're squeamish, better leave this room now before you flail around at the sight of blood, okay.

Zhang He: A-aaahh?! Erm…o, okay!

Jia Xu: Whew…okay, let's get started. Oh, and by the way…

Xiahou Dun: What?

Jia Xu: You sure you won't be squeamish at this? Perhaps you should go and join Zhang He outsi-

Xiahou Dun: BITCH. I ATE MY OWN FREAKING EYE.

Jia Xu: …oh, right. Well, that means we're all fine. Let's go!

* * *

 _Again, this R-rated scene that won't be displayed here. So, let's move on to Jin instead._

Sima Yi: Umm, Jia Chong, you need to use it onto that spot instead.

Jia Chong: You mean around here, sir?

Sima Yi: No, no! That will cause too much blood. A bit to the left.

Jia Chong: Here?

Sima Yi: Ah, a little bit higher.

Jia Chong: This spot?

Sima Yi: Aha, yes! Let's get going.

Jia Chong: Okay…here I come…

Sima Shi: **shudders** AAAHHH! Oh my god, what's that sound?! Ah, AAAAHHH! Oh, my baby brother Zhao, I'm so sorry this has to happen to you! Butthatsbecauseyouregayasfucksoimnotsorryreally.

Sima Yi: Alright! Mwahaha! See, this is how we run things around here. Nice, clean, fast, and smooth.

Jia Chong: Hm? Sir, look at that!

Sima Yi: What's that? WHOA! This part of his brain has been clouded with that mist!

Sima Shi: Huh, now that's weird.

Sima Yi: Hmm…okay, maybe if we can take these particles and analyze them, we can know what they really are!

Jia Chong: Okay. Now, be careful not to inhale them, sir.

Sima Yi: Yeah, good, good. Hmm…

Sima Shi: So? You found anything?

Sima Yi: ….oh! I see! So this 'mist' is actually not mist at all!

Sima Shi: Huh?! Then, what it is?

Sima Yi: Look at it here…if I'm not mistaken these 'mist' particles actually have the same structure and material as paper!

Jia Chong: Paper?! Then, what is the connection between it and turning people gay…

Sima Yi: Now, to answer that, we need to recombine these tiny paper particles into whole again so that we can see what they truly are!

Sima Shi: Father, how could we do that?! I mean, the particles are so tiny that-

Sima Yi: And that's precisely why we have TECHNOLOGY, SON! TA-DAAA!

Sima Shi: WHOA! What's this?

Sima Yi: It's a machine that can recombine things into whole again!

Sima Shi: Holy mama! How can you even create something like this?!

Sima Yi: Because I'm the goddamn Sima Yi! MWAHAHAHAHA! (I stole it from Zhuge Liang actually, but eh…)

Jia Chong: Well, what are we waiting for!

Sima Yi: Ah, right! Now, let's just insert it, press the button, and….okay! Done!

Sima Shi: Wha?! Dude, it hasn't been one second and?!

Sima Yi: I told you, I'M THE GODDAMN SIMA YI! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA- ahem, sorry. So….well, look at it here! A sort of a comic? …

Everyone: ….. **blushes and jawdrops**

Sima Yi: ….aaa...aaaaa….aaaaaa?!

Sima Shi: ….what….is…..THIS?!

Jia Chong: **turns lifeless**

Everyone: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

 _ **To Be Continued….**_

* * *

Yet another late update. Better get used to it. Please leave a review and have a good day!


	8. The Shady Alliance

_Chapter 8: The Shady Alliance_

* * *

 _Shu_

Zhuge Liang: Huff…..

Zhao Yun and Fa Zheng: **becomes completely lifeless**

Zhuge Liang: ….well? Hello? Hey, HEY! **snaps fingers**

Zhao Yun and Fa Zheng: ….oh, hey, OH! AH! What, what happened?!

Zhuge Liang: Well…it's…this…remember?

Zhao Yun and Fa Zheng: WAAAAAHHHH! GET, GET THAT THING AWAY FROM US! WAAAAAHHHH!

Zhuge Liang: Oh, ehm, okay. But still, this will be important in finding the cure for this gay plague, so just bear with it.

Zhao Yun and Fa Zheng: Guhh…

Zhuge Liang: Okay, so let's analyze this thing once aga- WHAAAAAAA! MY EYESSSSSS!

Zhao Yun: AH!

Zhuge Liang: Argh…fuck it man, not even I can bear to read this to even analyze it!

Fa Zheng: But really, what can we analyze anymore, anyway?

Zhuge Liang: Well, maybe if we can find anything interesting in it so that we know how a page of a yaoi doujinshis could cause this gay plague….oh, right! **whistles**

Robo-Jiang Wei: You called for me?

Zhuge Liang: Well, of course I did, idiot! Here, analyze this for me, and report anything interesting!

Robo-Jiang Wei: Understood. **scans the paper** Sir, I've completed the analysis.

Zhuge Liang: Really? Gee, that was fast. And that's coming from me! Haha! I'm so genius I miscalculated my own intelligence!

Fa Zheng: Sigh… **facepalms** There he goes again….

Robo-Jiang Wei: First, the truth is that Xu Shu and-

Zhuge Liang: Well, well, okay, let's just skip 'those' unnecessary details. Just, just what did you find interesting besides 'that'?

Robo-Jiang Wei: At the right-bottom corner of the paper, there's a logo in the form of a middle finger with the text, 'HDFA'.

Zhao Yun: 'HDFA'? What's that?

Zhuge Liang: I don't know myself…

Fa Zheng: Hmm…hey! Maybe this is some sort of a corporation who produces this bullshit and spread it all over the country to infect all of it's citizens with a gay plague?

Zhao Yun: GASP! A conspiracy! I knew it!

Zhuge Liang: Yeah, well that could be possible, but it's still too early to make any assumptions, mainly because we still don't know what this 'HDFA' is supposed to be and whether they actually caused this gay plague or not. Any other interesting stuff you found?

Robo-Jiang Wei: Yes, sir. At the behind, there are bunch of strange symbols and scribbles on it.

Zhuge Liang: Hm? Let me see….hm?

Zhao Yun: What is this? Some sort of a…mysterious language?

Fa Zheng: Like an alien language? Heh, now I'm suspicious that all of this is really a part of one big conspiracy by the aliens to-

Zhuge Liang: I told you, there's no such thing as aliens. Hmm…now, I've mastered many, many languages available in this country, but I've never encountered a language such as this before.

Zhao Yun: What could it possibly say?

Zhuge Liang: How am I supposed to know? We don't even know what language is this yet.

Fa Zheng: Sigh...really, by the time we're finished the entire Shu will probably be infected, and, well…we're fucked. Figuratively AND literally.

Zhuge Liang: Now, now, just calm down, okay! Look, I'm the Sleeping Dragon! In the novel I could just pretty much pull something new out of my ass every single time a problem occurs, and you two have already seen what I've pulled! It's alright, we can do this.

Zhao Yun: Is that so? Then, about Wuzhang Plains-

Zhuge Liang: Well, that one…if, if it wasn't for the goddamn HEAVENS I probably would have won, okay!

Fa Zheng: Pffftttt.

Zhuge Liang: And you! You always have something against me!

Fa Zheng: Well yes, I do! Seriously, all of those stunts you pulled in the novel are bullshit. No wonder many people dislike Shu nowadays, even after my addition!

Zhuge Liang: But-

Fa Zheng: But hey, I suppose I should be thankful in this fic because the Author hates you and will make sure that you actually have PROBLEMS in solving a problem. Good fucking luck for that.

Zhuge Liang: What the-

Zhao Yun: Um…guys? Seriously, shouldn't we be solving this case instead of bickering about Zhuge Liang's awesomeness?

Zhuge Liang: Yeah, yeah, he's got a point! I've said it once, and I'll say it again: just accept the fact that you can't be as awesome as me.

Fa Zheng: Pfftttt. Yeah, yeah, whatever you say. I give up.

* * *

 _Jin_

Sima Shi: Excuse me, but what the fuck?! No, seriously, just WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!

Sima Yi: Beats me! Wha…how the hell could something like THAT be even found here?!

Jia Chong: You guys can't even handle something as puny as this? Pfft.

Sima Shi: WHAT?!

Sima Yi: What the…you, you mean you find stuff like this NORMAL?!

Jia Chong: Yeah. I mean, we already stuff like this everyday. There's no need to go completely crazy over it.

Sima Shi: What the hell?! I mean, you saw that. YOU SAW THAT!

Jia Chong: Yeah, yeah, I know, but it's really not that bad…and besides, I found one interesting thing right here. **points at the right corner of the paper**

Sima Yi: What is that? Huh? A middle finger? And…'HDFA'? What is that?

Sima Shi: Some sort of an organization? An association, perhaps?

Sima Yi: Hmmm…HDFA. I think I've actually heard this name before…

Jia Chong: You have?

Sima Yi: Yeah. Perhaps I heard it from Chunhua? Hrmh…

Sima Shi: Mom? She knows about this?

Sima Yi: Perhaps. Hm, maybe we can ask her about this.

Jia Chong: Hmm…oh, sir. There are also this.

Sima Yi: Hm? Huh? What are all these strange symbols?

Sima Shi: Maybe a sort of a strange language? Alien language?

Sima Yi: Not aliens! Hrmh…now this is weird indeed…across my lifetime I have never encountered a language like this!

Jia Chong: Perhaps your wife knows about this as well?

Sima Yi: Maybe. Okay, we've been spending too much time in this lab. Let's go and ask my wife about this.

* * *

 _Wei_

Xiahou Dun: Ummm….hey?

Jia Xu: What?

Xiahou Dun: You sure that's the right place to cut his head open?

Jia Xu: Really?

Xiahou Dun: I don't know, perhaps you should be a bit more down there.

Jia Xu: You mean here? Nah, that's a bad spot.

Xiahou Dun: Errr…

Jia Xu: C'mon, don't worry. And besides, you don't have a place for arguing since you only have one e-

Zhang He: **suddenly breaking in** WAAAAAHHHHHH!

Jia Xu: **cuts at the wrong place due to shock, causing fountains of blood to spurt out** YEOW!

Zhang He: WAAAAAHHH! GUYS, BAD NEWS- WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! BLOOD! BLOOD-

Xiahou Dun: For the love of GOD, what's your fucking problem?! AND STOP SCREAMING!

Zhang He: A-aaahhh! I'm….I'm sorry! It's just...it's just now the gay plague has spread onto EVERYONE in this kingdom!

Jia Xu and Xiahou Dun: WHAT?!

Xiahou Dun: Every…one?!

Zhang He: Y-yes! I am currently being chased by Cao Pi right now….

Xiahou Dun: Cao Pi?! Wait, I thought he was…

Jia Xu: Oh my god….just, just how far we've been in this lab, again?

Xiahou Dun: I don't know, perhaps only a couple of hours?

Jia Xu: Tch, things are going downhill real quickly. Alright, I'm gonna finish up this business first! Zhang He! Make sure no one of those gays break through the lab!

Zhang He: A-ah! Alright!

Jia Xu: Fuck, with all this blood this fic can almost turn into Souten Kouro, but anyway…WHOA!

Xiahou Dun: AH! What, what is it?

Jia Xu: Here. Turns out that cloud of mist is now covering this part of his brain.

Xiahou Dun: What the? How is that even possible?

Jia Xu: Just about as possible as mist turning someone gay. Anyways, we can now analyze this mist and see what it really is. Hmm….

Xiahou Dun: …so?

Jia Xu: ….ah? I see! This mist…this mist is actually not mist!

Xiahou Dun: What? Not mist?

Jia Xu: Yeah! Just look at it here!

Xiahou Dun: Hmm…this is really weird, indeed! We thought it's a normal white mist, but it turns out to be actually black!

Jia Xu: Uhh…dude, you used your wrong eye.

Xiahou Dun: What? Oh! Right, I forgot. Hmm…huh, you're right!

Jia Xu: See? I'd say that this 'mist' is actually a bunch of paper particles spread out onto the air.

Xiahou Dun: Well, that just makes all of this even weirder. How the hell can particles of paper turn someone gay?

Jia Xu: And that's what we will find out. But, sigh…not sure how long we will last until those gays will completely overrun the kingdom…

* * *

 _Wu_

Zhou Yu: Okay. Hrmf….

Sun Quan: Hrm….AHHHH!

Zhou Yu: GRKLH! WHAT?!

Sun Quan: You….you sure that's the right place to cut?

Zhou Yu: Just trust me on this. Hrmf, okay….

Sun Quan: ….AAAHHH! AHHH! WAITTT!

Zhou Yu: ARGH! WHAT THE FUCK IS IT?!

Sun Quan: Arh…I'm…I'm just worried that you'll make the wrong move…

Zhou Yu: Good lord! Just stop bitching and let me handle this, okay! Okay, here we go….WOAH!

Sun Quan: WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Zhou Yu: Damn…I should've known that cutting it there will cause a fountain of blood to spurt out, but it's okay. Hmmm….huh?

Sun Jian: So…how is it?

Zhou Yu: Huh…so this is one weird case indeed! Look at it here…turns out that mist has clouded his brain!

Sun Quan: Huh?! How did the mist that he INHALED somehow go to his BRAIN?!

Zhou Yu: Beats me. Oh well, maybe we'll just have to analyze the mist to find out what is it. Hmm….wait, what?

Sun Jian: What? What is it?

Zhou Yu: I see….look at it here!

Zhou Yu: This mist….this mist is actually not mist at all! Rather, it's actually a bunch of shredded paper!

Sun Jian: Shredded paper?! How the hell could it turn someone gay?!

Zhou Yu: Yeah. Maybe it's magic? Or even cursed? Hmm…

Sun Quan: …wait, I think I've heard about this before.

Zhou Yu: You have?

Sun Quan: Yeah. I don't know, but I kinda heard one day about a conspiracy theory, involving the 'HDFA', and how they employ 'brainwashing papers'.

Sun Jian: Whoa! Holy shit! Suddenly this 'HDFA' feels more dangerous than Wei and Shu combined…

Zhou Yu: Where did you hear that?

Sun Quan: If I'm not mistaken, I heard it from Lianshi gossiping with other girls…

Zhou Yu: ….wait a minute! Wait…what if ALL OF THIS were caused by the females?!

The Two Suns: What?!

Sun Quan: You serious?! Why would they do such thing?

Sun Jian: Yeah, but considering their suspicious activities…

Zhou Yu: Now, it's too early to jump into conclusions, but since they're the ones whom you mentioned to be somewhat associated, perhaps we can ask your wife for information.

Sun Quan: Ah, yes, good point.

Zhou Yu: Well, it's settled. Let's go.

Sun Jian: But wait…what about those two? **points at Lu Su and Lu Xun**

Zhou Yu: We'll leave them be so that they won't break loose. Let's just go!

* * *

 _Meanwhile…_

 _While the gay plague madness is stirring around, we see a mysterious figure carefully avoiding the whole mess and going to a secret entrance hidden somewhere within the Shu palace, which leads to an underground entrance. When the figure enters an underground room which has the girls from every other kingdom, it was revealed to be…._

Yueying: …sorry I'm late.

Zhang Chunhua: Oh! So here is our final member.

Zhenji: Why did you come so late?

Yueying: I'm sorry, there was a bit of mess going on, what with my husband attempting to throw me out in the mist and all…

Wang Yi: He did that to you?!

Xingcai: Well, thank god this mist doesn't affect us girls…

Sun Shangxiang: Alright girls, listen up. So how is the progress in your respective kingdoms?

Wang Yi: In Wei, it's affected only 3 people….

Zhang Chunhua: Well, it's only 2 here.

Yueying: 5.

Diaochan: 2.

Sun Shangxiang: In Wu, 4. Hrmh, our progress is a bit slow. Especially in Wei, Jin, and Other. Listen, we've already spent so many resources here. We can't fail now!

Guan Yinping: Um, just asking…just what are we exactly trying to do here, again?

Lianshi: You've forgotten?

Sun Shangxiang: Well, I'll just explain it again. Our goal here, is to make ALL the guys in this land, gay.

Guan Yinping: Huh? Why would we ever do that? Besides, most of us are already our spouses, right?

Zhurong: Because, well…

Wang Yi: Well, look it here. Yes, some of them are already married to most of us. But they practically ALWAYS treat us as no more than trophy wives!

Zhenji: Exactly. I'm so sick of being treated as mere clingy-waifu to my husband! I actually still remember the time when I used to be, you know, cool AND bitchy, instead of just being bitchy!

Sun Shangxiang: You thought that was bad, huh? And, even worse, sometimes they practically just pretend THAT WE DON'T EXIST AT ALL!

Xingcai: And then they will proceed to become more affectionate with other males instead! Like, what the fuck, man?!

Zhang Chunhua: And this is precisely why we want to exact our revenge toward them!

Bao Sanniang: Yeah! We're gonna actually turn them gay for real, and see how they like it!

Xiaoqiao: And, well, beside, isn't watching them 'doing it' fun as well?!

All girls: WHOOOO!

Yueying: Oh…heheh, yeah….now I remember why I refused to join this at first…

Sun Shangxiang: Well, that means that the mist we made using the shredded yaoi doujinshis we had is still not enough. We need more! Cai Wenji!

Cai Wenji: Eh, uhm…yes?

Sun Shangxiang: You need to search for more yaoi doujinshis to shred and spread across the country!

Cai Wenji: Understood.

Daqiao: Um, hey, I think we have bad news.

Sun Shangxiang: What?

Daqiao: It seems that the remaining straight males have discovered what caused the gay plague, and are now working to find a way to cure it.

All girls: WHAT?!

Lianshi: Oh, no! This is bad!

Bao Sanniang: What should we do?!

Sun Shangxiang: Oh, ehm….

Xingcai: I personally think we shouldn't be too worried.

All girls: Huh? Why?

Xingcai: After all, even if they did manage to find the cure, the mist outside will obviously take a long time to subside, and with that they're effectively stuck.

Zhenji: Hmhm…she's got a good point.

Wang Yi: Hmmm….hey, I have an idea.

.

.

.

All girls: ….oooh! A great plan!

Sun Shangxiang: Hahaha…good, good! With this plan, no one can ever stop the 'Han Dynasty Fujoshi Association', now! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!

 _ **To Be Continued…**_

* * *

Whew! Almost finished! Please leave a review and have a good day!


	9. The Discovery

_Chapter 9: The Discovery_

* * *

 _Shu_

Zhuge Liang: Hmmm…

Zhao Yun: So how's that code-cracking going?

Zhuge Liang: Just give me a couple of minutes, dammit!

Fa Zheng: By 'a couple of minutes', you surely mean 'just enough time for the gays to completely fuck up our kingdom'?

Zhuge Liang: Oh, come on! You two practically do nothing but bitch around! Do some help, dammit! Especially you, Fa Zheng! Jeez…

Zhao Yun: Hmmm….

Zhuge Liang: ….

Zhao Yun: ….so?

Zhuge Liang: Well, at least at my current progress, here I found out that these strange symbols may actually be pictograms. You know, like the one we use.

Zhao Yun: Oooohhhh! Then, what do they actually mean?

Zhuge Liang: And that's the one thing I will intend to crack down the road. Though really, if you look here, the pictograms actually look sorta…awkward…

Zhao Yun: Really? …. **sweatdrop** uhhh….what?

Zhuge Liang: I know right. It seems that these pictograms practically depict those graphic scenes we see on the paper…

Zhao Yun: What? Then what the hell are they supposed to mean?!

Zhuge Liang: That's what I've been trying to solve, dammit! Hmm…perhaps if they mean some sort of meaning, or sound, or just ANYTHING, that might help.

 _ **BOOOOOOMMMM!**_

Everyone: WHAT?!

Zhuge Liang: W-what's going on?!

Fa Zheng: ….oh hell no.

Zhao Yun: W-what is it?! Don't tell me those gays are!

Fa Zheng: Damn it…they're attempting to break down this lab's door!

Zhao Yun: WAAAAAAHHHH! What, what should we do?!

Fa Zheng: Well, use your strength, dammit! That's your goddamn purpose!

Zhuge Liang: Oh, shit! Fuck…if they ever manage to break the door down, we're all fucked!

Zhao Yun: O-okay! I'll try! Mmm…GAH! T-they're too strong!

Fa Zheng: Oh, shit! Hey! Do you have any other crazy gadgets you can use to prevent them from breaking in?!

Zhuge Liang: E-eh?! O-okay, I'll look for something! Uhm, ah! Here is it! **casts an electric barrier over the door**

Zhao Yun: WHOA!

Zhuge Liang: There, that should do it. For now. Hrmgh….

 **BAM! BAM! BAMMMM!**

Zhao Yun: ….uh-oh. Zhuge Liang, they're breaking through!

Zhuge Liang: What?! Not even the thunder barrier can stop them?!

Fa Zheng: Maybe your tech is just too crappy.

Zhuge Liang: Is there a time you won't insult me?! Gah, fine Zhao Yun, please try holding them out before I crack this last code!

Zhao Yun: A-ah! Okay! Hrmgh….!

 _Later…_

Zhao Yun: ….argh! Zhuge, you're done yet?!

Zhuge Liang: Not yet….!

Zhao Yun: Please! I….can't…hold it back…anymore!

Zhuge Liang: …..THERE! DONE!

 **The gays break through**

Zhuge Liang, Zhao Yun, and Fa Zheng: **widens eyes** …FUCK.

The gays: GET THEM!

The three: WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

* * *

 _Wei_

Xiahou Dun: Huff….hey! How long do you have to work on that before the gays suddenly break through here?!

Jia Xu: Good lord, just be patient, will ya? You have such a 'short fuse'. Ahaha!

Xiahou Dun: Ugh. Seriously, you remind me of that human-faced orange-

Jia Xu: Yeah, yeah, whatever. I'm actually close to finding the cure, okay?

Xiahou Dun: What? You have?!

Jia Xu: Yeah. So just shut up if you don't want to help.

Xiahou Dun: Dude, that doesn't even make any sense! We don't even know what the paper actually is and you're already close to finding the cure?!

Jia Xu: Look, it's not important what the paper actually is, okay. The important part is that we now have the solution. So just give me some time.

Xiahou Dun: Huh. The progress and the asspulls of this fic is so unbelievable that now I believe even YOU. Gah.

 _Several minutes later…_

Jia Xu: …okay! Done!

Xiahou Dun: Really?!

Jia Xu: Yep. This black concoction that can cure this gay plague is finally here!

Xiahou Dun: Whoa. Damn. Well then, what are we waiting for, then? Let's go and-

Jia Xu: Whoa, wait a minute. We still don't know yet whether this actually works or not, so we need to test it on someone first…hmm…oh, right! We can use it at him! **points at Zhang Liao**

Xiahou Dun: Uhh…for some reason I have a bad feeling about this…

Jia Xu: C'mon, you're always pessimistic about everything. Anyways, hey!

Zhang Liao: Erhm….oh, hey! So, how's the operation? Is it over?

Jia Xu: Yeah, yeah. Anyways, we managed to finally produce the cure.

Zhang Liao: WHAT?! YOU HAVE?! ARGH, GIMME!

Jia Xu: Wha- HEY!

Zhang Liao: **drinks the potion until empty**

Jia Xu: …..uhhh…so?

Zhang Liao: Umm…ooh! I guess it did work! I'm not gay anymore! I'M NOT GAY! HAHA! AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!

Xiahou Dun: Uhhh…you sure you didn't give him a potion that made him turn insane, instead?

Jia Xu: I suppose not. Well, the most important part is that he's not gay. Okay, let's go to tranquilize the others.

Xiahou Dun: ….uhh…tranquilizer darts? Really?

Jia Xu: Why? It's far easier to use the cure this way.

Xiahou Dun: Uhh…okay. Whatever you want.

Jia Xu: Fine. Zhang Liao, Zhang He! Let's go!

Zhang He: Ah! You, you did it?

Jia Xu: Of course I did! Let's go and get rid of this gay madness, once and for all!

 _At the outside…_

Cao Cao: ….OOH! MY DUNNY! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?! I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR-

Xiahou Dun: AAAAHHHH! QUICK, JIA XU!

Jia Xu: I'm on it. **fires the gay-cure dart**

Cao Cao: YEOWCHIE! **faints**

Jia Xu: Just wait a couple of minutes.

 _Later…_

Cao Cao: Eh…erm…huh? You…guys? What are you doing?

Xiahou Dun: Ah! Umm…hey.

Cao Cao: What?

Xiahou Dun: You….are not gay…right?

Cao Cao: Gay? Who's gay? You must be dreaming to think that I'm gay. I already have 12 wives to keep me entertained, why must I turn to a guy? Hehehehe. Hahahahaha!

Xiahou Dun: ….uhh…

Jia Xu: Hm. One step closer to victory.

 _Suddenly…._

Zhang He: Hm? Uhh…guys?

Xiahou Dun and Jia Xu: What?

Zhang He: Is it just me, or…there seems to be a sound of people running over here?

Everyone: …. **widens eyes** ….OH SHIT.

The gays (including generics and peons): HYAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

The five: WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

Xiahou Dun: WHAT THE?! EVEN THE GENERICS AND PEONS-

Jia Xu: Stay calm! I can handle this! **fires the gay-cure darts**

Zhang Liao: This is no good! There are too many of them!

Jia Xu: Argh…shit!

* * *

 _Wu_

Zhou Yu: Hello! Gah, the girls are missing!

Sun Jian: You have any idea where they might have gone to?

Zhou Yu: I don't know…huh?

Lu Meng: I'll say this one more time…where. Is. THE. KEY?!

Ling Tong: I told you, I DON'T FUCKING KNOW! My gay personality's hidden it somewhere!

Lu Meng: Gosh…well then, switch to your gay self!

Ling Tong: Gah! No! I won't do that! It's gross! Besides, my gay self obviously wouldn't want to tell you anyway!

Zhou Yu: Lu Meng!

Lu Meng: Ah, Master Zhou Yu! Here, I am STILL trying to get Ling Tong to open the door and release Gan Ning, but to no avail!

Ling Tong: Trust me, I also DESPERATELY WANT to get that pointy ass out of my room, okay, but my gay self won't let me do so.

Zhou Yu: Eh, hrmf…ah, screw keys! **chops down the door to Ling Tong's room** Gan Ning, you- WHA?!

Gan Ning: Mmmph! MMH!

Zhou Yu: What the…. **blushes**

Ling Tong: Hey, don't blame me! Blame my other personality!

Zhou Yu: Oh my…never knew you're into THOSE things, eh-

Ling Tong: I TOLD YOU IT WASN'T BY ME! But, 'ME'!

Zhou Yu: Yeah, yeah, whatever. **frees Gan Ning**

Gan Ning: GAH! Pant…pant…LORD! Guys, listen, those girls are crazy!

Everyone: Huh? Those girls?

Zhou Yu: What do you mean?

Gan Ning: I…I don't know! The thing is, I saw them going into some sort of secret passage in this castle, and when I asked them where are they going, they tied me up and put me in this position!

Lu Meng: Huh? So Ling Tong didn't do it to you?

Ling Tong: Whew…thank god!

Gan Ning: Thankfully, no. I wonder what those girls are up to…

Zhou Yu: Hrmf…where did you see them?

Gan Ning: If I'm not mistaken they were going toward a secret passage at the back of this palace.

Zhou Yu: The back of this palace…okay. Guys, let's go! We'll go to the secret passage as Gan Ning said, to find out what has truly caused all of this!

Everyone: YOOO!

* * *

 _Jin_

Sima Yi: HELLOOO! Honey, where are you?

Sima Shi: Don't tell me she's missing too?

Jia Chong: She, along with Wang Yuanji are gone. Hmm…

Sima Yi: Ah, crap, in the time of urgent like this she's missing?! Huff….

Sima Shi: Hmm…she usually goes to the back of the palace. I'll go check.

Later…

Sima Shi: HELLO! Mom! MOM! Gah, she's not here! That's so weird…where else she could be?! Hrmf….huh? What's that? …a secret passage? I thought we don't have that…hmm…

Wen Yang: Hey, what are you doing?

Sima Shi: WAAAAAAAHHHHH! SLENDERMAAAAANNNNN!

Wen Yang: What? No, I'm not! Just what the hell do you think I am?!

Sima Shi: Eh…oh! Uhm. Okay. Well…

Wen Yang: …oh well, that doesn't matter, because I already have you here.

Sima Shi: Uhh…what? Wait, what?

Wen Yang: I love you!

Sima Shi: AAAAAHHHHH! LEGGO OF MEEEEEEEE!

On the other side…

Sima Yi: Huh?! Was that Shi's scream?!

Jia Chong: Seems so.

Sima Yi: Let's go check him out.

 _Later…_

Sima Yi: What's going on here?!

Sima Shi: WAAAAHHHH! DAAAADDDD!

Wen Yang: Hey, where are you going?

Sima Shi: Huff…huff…dad, he, he!

Sima Yi: What- Hey, you Slenderbishie! What did you do to my son?!

Wen Yang: What?! Sir, I was only…umm…

Sima Shi: HE CONFESSED TO ME! AAAHHH!

Sima Yi: What the?! Hrrr…huh? Hey, there's a mysterious secret passage there! I wonder where that could lead us…

Everyone: **enters the secret passage**

Wen Yang: Huh?! Hey, where are you guys going?! Come on, Sima Shi hasn't accepted my confession yet! Hrmf…

* * *

 _Meanwhile, at the HDFA HQ..._

Sun Shangxiang: ...okay! Everything's settled?

All girls: Yooo!

Zhenji: Hahaha! I gotta say that your plan to gas the insides of the palaces with this mist is great!

Wang Yi: Heh. Of course. They won't stand a chance this time.

Guan Yinping: You know, I'm kinda worried about this plan.

Xingcai: Why should you?

Guan Yinping: I don't know, it's just that...gassing people with this? I think that's going too far.

Bao Sanniang: What do you mean 'too far'? Haha, it's alright! This is to ensure the victory for the HDFA, after all!

Yueying: Still, I'm kinda worried they would still find us. I mean, wouldn't they be so suspicious that suddenly all the females are gone?

Zhang Chunhua: Naah, you're worrying too much. Who would be looking for us, anyway? At this rate, all of them are too gay to even think about that.

Sun Shangxiang: Alright! Let's do this, girls! The fujoshi will rule over the land!

All girls: YOOOOOOO!

 _ **To Be Continued…**_

* * *

The second-to-last (probably) chapter! Yay! As always, please leave a review and have a good day!


	10. The Climax

_Chapter 10: The Climax_

* * *

 _Shu_

Zhuge Liang: Everybody, RUN!

The Three: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Zhao Yun: Gasp…pant…pant…so, Zhuge! How's that code cracking?!

Zhuge Liang: Well, I was able to crack what the strange symbols are supposed to mean, but-

Fa Zheng: You know guys, let's just save this 'smart talk' for later, okay?! They're right behind us!

The Three: Eh?! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

Zhao Yun: Aaaahhhh! Zhuge, do something!

Zhuge Liang: Eh, uhm…I'LL TRY! **casts lightning on the gays**

Zhao Yun: GOOD! Okay….where are we going to?

Zhuge Liang: Huff, huff….okay, back to our 'smart talk'. So, the thing is, I know what these strange symbols mean, but they instead also construct a foreign language! Here, I've listed all of them here.

Zhao Yun: Hmm…uhh…why does this 'language' sound too much like…..

Fa Zheng: Sex sounds?

Zhao Yun: Y…yeah…

Zhuge Liang: I know. The problem is, we don't know what they actually mean.

Fa Zheng: …uh-oh. Guys?

Zhuge Liang and Zhao Yun: What?

Fa Zheng: ….THOSE GAYS ARE COMING ONTO US AGAIN!

The Three: WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!

Zhuge Liang: Huh?! Guys, look!

Zhao Yun: Eh? Is that…a secret passage?

Fa Zheng: Seems so. But…since when?!

Zhuge Liang: That doesn't matter! JUMP!

The Three: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! OOF! ….pant, pant….

Zhao Yun: …whoa! Where…where are we?

Zhuge Liang: Some kind of an underground tunnel?

Fa Zheng: Those gays are gone, right?

Zhuge Liang: Yeah. Hmm….this is really weird. Since when had we have this?

Zhao Yun: Yeah, I know.

Fa Zheng: Hmmm…AAAHHH!

Zhuge Liang: AH! What, what?!

Fa Zheng: Eh? Gee, I'm pretty sure I saw a shadow or something….

Zhuge Liang: So someone else is here as well? Ah, shit…be careful, guys.

Zhao Yun: ….huh? Hey, there seems to be a noise coming from there!

Zhuge Liang: Really? …sounds like a commotion or something?

Fa Zheng: So more people are there? Aw, man…

Zhuge Liang: Hm….I don't know, but I have a feeling that those people can help us.

Zhao Yun: How can you be so sure?

Zhuge Liang: Well, do you expect the Author to throw this in if it's unrelated to the gay problem we have now?! Everything happens for a cause, Zhao Yun. Okay, guys, let's go there and check what's happening.

Fa Zheng: …I kinda have a bad feeling about this…

Zhao Yun: Huh, that's kinda uncommon for you to worry, Fa Zheng. And, I think this phrase has been used so many times throughout this fic it's not even funny….

The Three: …..GASP! WHAT?!

* * *

 _Wu_

Zhou Yu: …oh. So this is the secret passage.

Sun Quan: What is that? I don't remember ever having that!

Sun Jian: Yeah, me too.

Zhou Yu: This might very well have been created by those girls for whatever shady plans they have.

Sun Quan: Y-you think it's s-safe?! I mean, if they somehow have a trap or anything if any males enter.

Zhou Yu: Relax, nothing will happen. Let's go!

All three: Yaaahh! Oof!

Sun Quan: So…uhh….what is this place?

Zhou Yu: Hmm…well, Gan Ning said that this is the place where those girls went…after tying him up in THAT position…

Sun Jian: …wait! Tying with what Quan said, maybe this actually leads to the HDFA?

Sun Quan: You mean those girls are associated with the HDFA somehow?

Zhou Yu: We still don't know what HDFA is, or what those girls' plans are, though it's fair to say that they really are the ones behind this gay plague, what with all those shady activities they've been having…

Sun Quan: Sigh…disgraceful! Why would they do something like that, anyway?!

Sun Jian: Y'see, that's the problem we always have in Wu. With this number of hot guys, whaddaya expect?

Sun Quan: Yeah, but even then by DW7 Shu already has more pretty boys than us! And as of 8, even Wei!

Sun Jian: Yeah, I know.

Zhou Yu: Hm? Guys?

The Two Suns: Huh?

Zhou Yu: Look at that.

Sun Quan: …oh? Is someone there?

Sun Jian: Seems so.

Zhou Yu: Could it be those girls? Hm, this could be a trap. Be careful, guys.

The Two Suns: O-okay, okay.

The Three: …..GASP!

* * *

 _Wei_

Xiahou Dun: Goddamn…these gays are overwhelming us!

Jia Xu: **shoots a gay-cure dart with each word** I'm. Handling. THIS. Okay!

Zhang He: AAAAHHHH! They're getting closer!

Jia Xu: You too! Don't just bitch around! If you can't do jack shit to help us then just shut the hell up! Ungrh, gah!

Guo Jia: AAAAAAHHHHHH! JIA XUUUUU!

Jia Xu: Oh, SHIT! IT'S HIM! HYAH!

Guo Jia: YEOWCHIE! Sigh….. **faints**

Jia Xu: Hrmh, this is bad. HYAH!

Xiahou Dun: Pant, pant…gee, you still have a plenty of cure stock, huh?

Jia Xu: Of course I do! I always think ahead, unlike YOU.

Xiahou Dun: Remind me to take my vengeance on your ass after all of this is over.

Jia Xu: With pleasure.

* * *

 _Jin_

Sima Yi: Let's go down, boys! OOF!

Everyone: YEOW!

Sima Shi: Gee, what is this place, anyway?

Jia Chong: Hmm…your mom went this way? Where does it lead to, anyway?

Sima Yi: Nevertheless, we have to find her.

Sima Shi: …dad.

Sima Yi: What?

Sima Shi: …is it just me, or does it seem that mom and Yuanji seem to be planning something?

Sima Yi: Really?

Sima Shi: Yeah. They were generally acting suspicious when this gay plague came upon us all of a sudden…

Jia Chong: Heh, well I wouldn't be surprised if they did.

Sima Yi: Hmm…well, it's too early to jump into conclusions. Though really, this place does seem quite suspicious enough….

Sima Shi: …ah! Dad, did you hear that?

Sima Yi: Hear what?

Sima Shi: There, there.

 _"….so, each of us will carry this and gas the insides of the palaces. That should do…"_

Sima Yi: Gassing? Wait, what?

Sima Shi: They sound like girls.

Jia Chong: Oh my…

Sima Yi: Are Chunhua and Yuanji there too?!

Sima Shi: So they were planning something after all!

Jia Chong: Ssshhh. Be quiet.

 _"…okay, that's all. Carry out this plan, girls! Don't fail!"_

Sima Yi: Crap! Okay guys, I'll count down to three, and on three, all three of us will jump out to stop them. Understood?!

Sima Shi and Jia Chong: Yes, yes!

Sima Yi: Okay. One…two…THREE!

The Three: HYAAAHHH!

The girls: AAAAHHHH!

The Shu Trio: GASP! WHAT?!

The Wu Trio: GASP!

Sima Yi: What the?! The others are here too?!

Zhuge Liang: Sima Yi!

Zhou Yu: Zhuge Liang!

The girls: Oh no! You…how can you guys discover us?!

Zhou Yu: Well…you girls probably should learn to cover your exits the next time you attempt to sneak around.

Sun Shangxiang: What! Grrr…you, how could you guys escape being gay?! This is impossible! You, all of you males should be GAY!

Sima Yi: HAH! You think your pissy-ass gay mist could stop ME and my INTELLIGENCE! Of course not! Now, put down that gassing device!

Xiaoqiao: Hah! Why should we listen to you, creep?!

Zhou Yu: Because if you don't, we'll kick your ass! I'm sorry Xiaoqiao, but you gals have to stop this!

Wang Yi: Hah! We won't!

Zhuge Liang: Why are you girls doing this, anyway?!

Zhang Chunhua: Hmph! Well, put it simply…

Bao Sanniang: ….we're just sick of you guys treating us as mere 'trophies'!

Zhenji: And that's why we want to gain our pleasure by seeing you guys making out with each other instead!

Sima Yi: What! Grrr….and you decided to spread the gay plague through this 'gay-mist' throughout this entire region just for THAT?! That's ridiculous!

Xingcai: And, well, don't you think that it's ridiculous you pay more attention to other males rather than YOUR OWN GODDAMN WIVES?!

Sun Shangxiang: Precisely! Especially since most of us ended being stripped of our personality for it!

Zhou Yu: Tch! You bitches! Then what's with that gassing device?!

Diaochan: Oh, that…even though our mist employ was mostly effective, it can only gather a few number of victims.

Lu Lingqi: Which is why now we decided to use this to gas the INSIDES of this palace as well! And it would've worked out if it weren't for you meddling strategists!

Zhuge Liang: We won't let you do that!

Sun Shangxiang: Hahahahahaha! As if! Release Weapon-12/6!

Zhuge Liang, Zhou Yu, and Sima Yi: Weapon-12/6?!

Sun Shangxiang: Mwahahahahahaha….HAHAHAHAHAHA! MEET YOUR DOOM!

Lu Bu: GRWAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

Zhuge Liang, Zhou Yu, and Sima Yi: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! IT'S LU BUUUUUUUUUU!

Sun Shangxiang: Ohohohohoooo…..not just Lu Bu! It's GAY Lu Bu! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Zhuge Liang: WHAT?!

Zhou Yu: Oh my god…is there a worse thing than a gay Lu Bu?!

Sun Shangxiang: Psst…hey, Lu Bu.

Lu Bu: Eh?! Urm, what?

Sun Shangxiang: **whisper whisper**

Lu Bu: ….. **enters Rage Mode** RRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Sima Yi: …..an ANGRY gay Lu Bu.

Lu Bu: RRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! YOU GUYS STOLE MY ZHANG LIAO! I'LL BEHEAD EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU! HYAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!

Everyone (except the girls): WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

 _In just a few minutes, almost all males got pretty much knocked out by Lu Bu._

Zhuge Liang: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

Lu Bu: GRAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! ZHANG LIAOOOO!

Sun Shangxiang: Hahahahahahahahaha….alright, girls, activate the gas!

Zhuge Liang: GAH! No…please! Someone…ANYO-

 _Suddenly…._

Lu Bu: Hm? **turns around** Huh?! AAAAHHH!

Everyone: GASP!

Zhuge Liang: What's….that?!

Zhou Yu: ….a tranquilizer dart?

Jia Xu: You're always a bother to us, Lu Bu.

Everyone: GASP!

Jia Xu: Oof!

Xiahou Dun: HYAH! Whoa! Everyone else are here too!

Jia Xu: I hope I'm not too late to give these perverted bitches some TUTORING.

Sun Shangxiang: What the- YOU TOO?!

Jia Xu: Heh. What about it?

Zhang He: Aaaaahhhh!

Zhang Liao: GASP! LORD LU BU!

Jia Xu: It's alright, he'll wake up.

Sima Yi: Jia Xu! What…what's that you've just fired?

Jia Xu: Oh, this? This is the cure.

Everyone: THE CURE?!

Zhuge Liang: What the?! How…how did you find the cure?!

Jia Xu: Hm? Well, methods? I just observed what was going on inside Zhang Liao's head, then I devised a cure to undo it. Then I used this to cure the rest of the gays. That's all.

Zhou Yu: Whoa….

Sima Yi: Hey. Can we have some of that?

Jia Xu: Sure, why not? **tosses the cure to Zhuge Liang, Zhou Yu, and Sima Yi**

Xiahou Dun: What! Hey, you! You sure it's alright to-

Jia Xu: It's fine. They can't do much against us even when they're not gay, anyway.

Zhuge Liang: Alright, after all is said and done…let's get this over with.

Sun Shangxiang: Tch! Not so fast! Activate the gas weapon!

Zhou Yu: TCH! Everyone, duck!

All males: **ducks**

Sun Shangxiang: Hah! Think you can escape this so easily?!

Jia Xu: Tch! Hrmf…okay, maybe this is the time for me to use this! HYAH! **shoots a dart at Sun Shangxiang**

Sun Shangxiang: Huh?! AH! Ouch…

Jia Xu: Hahahahaha…you're finished.

Sun Shangxiang: Heheheheheheh…what, you used one of your 'gay-cure' darts at me? That's so idiotic. I'm a girl, and- **suddenly faints**

Everyone: **widens eyes and jawdrops**

All girls: **raises their hands in the air**

.

.

.

Sun Shangxiang: Uhhrrrrghhh…what…happened? HUH?! Urngh…gah! Where, where am I?!

Jia Xu: Hello.

Sun Shangxiang: AAAHHHH! You, what are you doing?! I-

Jia Xu: Okay, the thing is, I used an actual tranquilizer dart on you. After that, the fighting stopped because the rest of the girls immediately surrendered after you fainted.

Zhou Yu: The rest of us escorted then back to their respective kingdoms.

Sun Shangxiang: WHAT! Grr…those cowards!

Zhuge Liang: So, apparently the thing is…those girls didn't wanna get involved at the first place, yet you blackmailed them to join this 'Han Dynasty Fujoshi Association', correct?

Sun Shangxiang: Eh! Uhm…

Sima Yi: Sigh, to force other people to join your petty feminist organization….you IMBECILE!

Jia Xu: Okay, that's enough. Well, since all of us already know about your motives in doing this, we'll just ask one thing….how to get rid of this gay-mist?

Sun Shangxiang: That…uhm…

Sima Yi: ANSWER!

Sun Shangxiang: Okay, okay! Jeez…well, do any of you have that excerpt of the yaoi doujinshi we used?

Zhuge Liang: I do.

Sun Shangxiang: Okay. If you turn the page, you'll find strange symbols. That is the language we use to speak here.

Zhuge Liang: Huh. So you perverted lots use sex sounds to communicate? Seems legit.

Sun Shangxiang: That's the whole point! Okay, I'll translate it for you. Those will be the instructions to remove the mist.

Zhuge Liang: Okay.

Sun Shangxiang: First, you need to load this gassing device with the gay-cure. Then, you have to shoot it from five different points to remove the mist.

Jia Xu: Hm. I guess the 'five different points' mean the five different faction complexes.

Sun Shangxiang: Yeah, yeah. Now, can you guys please untie me now?

Zhou Yu: Sure thing.

Sun Shangxiang: Thanks, Zhou Yu.

Zhou Yu: Yeah. By the way, when we return home, your father would like some SERIOUS talk with you.

Sun Shangxiang: Sigh…right.

* * *

 _Later…_

Jia Xu: **through a headset (?!)** So, are you guys ready?

Zhou Yu: Yeah.

Zhuge Liang: Sure thing.

Sima Yi: Yep.

Zhang Liao: I'm on it.

The five: **fires the gassing device loaded with the 'gay-cure'** HYAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

After that, thick black mist spread throughout the land, which dissipated the thick white mist before dissipating itself, once again bringing light to the land.

Jia Xu: Woo-hoo! Success, guys!

All five: YOOOOOO!

Xiahou Dun: Hm. Hey.

Jia Xu: Whoa! It's you.

Xiahou Dun: Heh…been a long time since we saw the light, eh?

Jia Xu: Of course. That was one big 'dark age', indeed. Also...

Xiahou Dun: What?

Jia Xu: You're not going to take your vengeance at me for that one time?

Xiahou Dun: You still remember that? Heh, at second thought, I think it would be a waste of my strength to kick the ass of someone like YOU.

Jia Xu: Classy as always, tough guy.

Cao Cao: HEEEEYYYY!

Xiahou Dun: Huh?

Cao Cao: Dunny! Let's play go again!

Xiahou Dun: Heh, okay!

Jia Xu: Hey. You're not scared he might-

Xiahou Dun: Nah, it's alright. Even if he did, it's just him being, you know…him.

Jia Xu: Now I'm kinda worried at what he might do next. Oh well.

Guo Jia: HEYYYY! JIA XUUUU!

Jia Xu: What?

Guo Jia: Let's go- AAAAAAHHHHH! MY EYESSSSSSSS! THE LIIIGGGGGHHHHTTTT!

Jia Xu: Oh, come on.

 **THE END**

* * *

WHEW! Finally, it's finished! It's kinda short, I know, but I just simply don't like dragging things for too long.

Oh, and I may enter a short hiatus after this. I kinda ran out of story ideas at the moment, coupled with my other hobbies, I may not be as active as I used to before.

That being said, when I do have a good story idea, I'll be sure to give it to you guys right away. It's just that my schedule will be inconsistent.

Well, I'm still thankful for you guys reading this fic from the start until the end. Please leave a review and have a good day!


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